Collision Jokes / Recent Jokes
Transcript of the actual radio conversation of a us naval ship with Canadian autorities off the coast of Newfoundland:
Canadian: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision. Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision. Americans: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert your course. Canadians: No. I say again, you must divert your course. Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers, and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees north, I say again, that's one five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship. Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
This is an actual radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval
Operations, 10-10-95, MSG#H0000115020ecb52EMHS
#1: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision."
#2: "Recommend that you change YOUR course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision."
#1: "This is the captain of a U. S. navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."
#2: "No, I say again divert YOUR course."
#1: "This is the aircraft carrier Enterprise, we are a large warship of the U. S. navy. Divert your course NOW!"
#2: "This is a lighthouse. Your call?"
This is a radio conversation of a US naval ship with Chinese authorities off the coast of Vietnam in South China Sea in October 1980.
CHINESE: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
AMERICANS: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.
CHINESE: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
AMERICANS: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
CHINESE: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.
AMERICANS: This is the Aircraft Carrier USS MIDWAY, the second largest ship in the United States Pacific Fleet.
We are accompanied with three Destroyers, three Cruisers and numerous support vessels. I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees north. I say again, that's one-five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.
CHINESE: This is a lighthouse. You are on the more...
This is an actual radio conversation released by the Chief of NavalOperations, 10-10-95, MSG#H0000115020ecb52EMHS #1: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision." #2: "Recommend that you change YOUR course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision." #1: "This is the captain of a U. S. navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course." #2: "No, I say again divert YOUR course." #1: "This is the aircraft carrier Enterprise, we are a large warship of the U. S. navy. Divert your course NOW!"#2: "This is a lighthouse. Your call?"
Time sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chinese lands.
China blames U. S. for second mid-air collision!
Beijing (Reuters) - Chinese officials have stated they are holding the United States, Fully responsible" for todays mid air collision, involving several Chinese aircraft and one American aircraft. This comes just weeks after a similar incident involving a U. S. spy plane.
Officials have stated that at approximately 8: 46am, GMT, a squadron of F-8 fighters collided with the American Goodyear Blimp. The crash left over a dozen Chinese fighters downed and the blimps electronic billboard damaged.
A Chinese pilot who witnessed the collision involving his squadron, nicknamed "Panda Rash", told China's news agency that he saw more...