Blames Jokes

We yanks just love to pass the blame. What other country can boast of 3 lawyers for every citizen. We come up with the best reasons to blame others for our own problems. Here's a small list...
If a woman burns her thighs on the hot coffee she's holding in her lap while driving,
she blames the restaurant.
If your teen-age son kills himself or then next door neighbors,
you blame the rock 'n' roll music or musician he liked.
If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer,
your family blames the tobacco company.
If your daughter gets pregnant by the football captain you blame the school for poor sex education.
If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, you blame the bartender.
If your cousin gets AIDS because the needle he used to shoot up with heroin was dirty,
you blame the government for not providing clean ones.
If your grandchildren are brats without manners, you blame television.
If your friend more...

China blames U. S. for second mid-air collision! Beijing (Reuters) - Chinese officials have stated they are holding the United States,? Fully responsible" for today? s mid air collision, involving several Chinese aircraft and one American aircraft. This comes just weeks after a similar incident involving a U. S. spy plane. Officials have stated that at approximately 8: 46am, GMT, a squadron of F-8 fighters collided with the American Goodyear Blimp. The crash left over a dozen Chinese fighters downed and the blimps electronic billboard damaged. A Chinese pilot who witnessed the collision involving his squadron, nicknamed "Panda Rash", told China's news agency that he saw the American blimp dive out of the clouds and onto wingman Thee Sum Yun Dork's f-8 jet. "I told Thee Dork his tail was all broken. Keep it straight. Keep it straight." said the pilot "He could not shake the American foreign-devil" The blimp reportedly then veered left then right, more...

The Dishonest Person: One who farts but blames the dog.

Pick the day you were born on to see what kind of fart you are.
1-AMBITIOUS - Always ready for a fart.
2-LAZY - Just fizzles
3-AMIABLE - Likes to smell others farts
4-SELFISH - Only enjoys smelling own farts
5-CARELESS - Farts in church
6-SMART ALEC - Farts when ladies are present.
7-CLEVER - Farts and coughs at same time
8-SCIENTIFIC - Bottles own farts
9-STINGY - Belches instead of farting to save asshole
10-FOOLISH - Farts and laughs.
11-SHY - Blushes even when farts silently.
12-CONCEITED - Thinks they can fart loudest.
13-UNLUCKY - Tries to fart and shits pants.
14- TIMID - Jumps when farting.
15-BEWILDERED - can't tell own farts from others.
16-SLOVENLY - Farts and fizzles, rots pants.
17-NERVOUS - Stops in middle of fart.
18-MISERABLE - Can't fart
19-CONFUSED - Face looks so much like ass,
Farts don't know where to go.
20-GROUCH - Grumbles when ladies fart.
21-SNEAKY - Farts and blames it on more...

Pick the day you were born on to see what kind of fart you are.1-AMBITIOUS - Always ready for a fart.2-LAZY - Just fizzles3-AMIABLE - Likes to smell others farts4-SELFISH - Only enjoys smelling own farts5-CARELESS - Farts in church6-SMART ALEC - Farts when ladies are present.7-CLEVER - Farts and coughs at same time8-SCIENTIFIC - Bottles own farts9-STINGY - Belches instead of farting to save asshole10-FOOLISH - Farts and laughs.11-SHY - Blushes even when farts silently.12-CONCEITED - Thinks they can fart loudest.13-UNLUCKY - Tries to fart and shits pants.14- TIMID - Jumps when farting.15-BEWILDERED - can't tell own farts from others.16-SLOVENLY - Farts and fizzles, rots pants.17-NERVOUS - Stops in middle of fart.18-MISERABLE - Can't fart19-CONFUSED - Face looks so much like ass, Farts don't know where to go.20-GROUCH - Grumbles when ladies fart.21-SNEAKY - Farts and blames it on the dog.22-DISAPPOINTED - Their farts don't stink.23-FRESH GUY - Jumps in front of you and farts.24-BIG more...