Farting Jokes

An elderly woman went to the doctor's office for a check up.
The doctor asked if she had any problems. The woman said that she had a terrible farting problem, but they were silent & didn't smell. In fact she had farted at least 10 times since she had been in the office, but as they were silent & didn't smell he wouldn't have known.
The doctor listened to her story and then gave her a prescription for some pills. He told her to take these for a week and then come back to see him.
1 week later the elderly woman returned to the doctor's office and complained "I don't know what you did but those pills you gave me have got my wind smelling awful, mind you they are still silent but boy do they stink!"
The doctor replied, "Good, now that your sinuses are cleared up we will work on improving your hearing!"

thunder is just chuck norris farting

A couple had been happily married for 40 years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of loudly farting every morning as he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning, she would plead with him to stop ripping them off as it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor as she was concerned that one day he was going to fart his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out.
Then one Christmas morning as she was downstairs preparing the turkey and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had just put the turkey innards, neck, gizzards, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl upstairs where her hubby was sound asleep and gently pulling back the bed covers, she slid down his underwear at the back and emptied the bowl more...

The Vain Person: One who loves the smell of his own farts.

The Unfortunate Person: One who tries hard to fart, but shits instead.