"Horoscope of Farts" joke

Pick the day you were born on to see what kind of fart you are.1-AMBITIOUS - Always ready for a fart.2-LAZY - Just fizzles3-AMIABLE - Likes to smell others farts4-SELFISH - Only enjoys smelling own farts5-CARELESS - Farts in church6-SMART ALEC - Farts when ladies are present.7-CLEVER - Farts and coughs at same time8-SCIENTIFIC - Bottles own farts9-STINGY - Belches instead of farting to save asshole10-FOOLISH - Farts and laughs.11-SHY - Blushes even when farts silently.12-CONCEITED - Thinks they can fart loudest.13-UNLUCKY - Tries to fart and shits pants.14- TIMID - Jumps when farting.15-BEWILDERED - can't tell own farts from others.16-SLOVENLY - Farts and fizzles, rots pants.17-NERVOUS - Stops in middle of fart.18-MISERABLE - Can't fart19-CONFUSED - Face looks so much like ass, Farts don't know where to go.20-GROUCH - Grumbles when ladies fart.21-SNEAKY - Farts and blames it on the dog.22-DISAPPOINTED - Their farts don't stink.23-FRESH GUY - Jumps in front of you and farts.24-BIG BULLY - Farts louder than everyone else.25-DELUDED - Enjoys all farts thinking they are their own.26-CUTE - Discovers from farts what others have eaten.27-WISE - Farts and say's "Who in hell shit ??"28-DAMNED MEAN - Farts in bed and pulls covers over wife's head.29-MUSICAL - Tenor or bass Clear as a bellSmells like shit Sounds like hell.30-HONEST - Farts and blames in on the hostess.31-LIVELY - Jumps in air, farts three times, kicks like hell simultaneously.

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