"Horoscope of Farts" joke

Pick the day you were born on to see what kind of fart you are.
1-AMBITIOUS - Always ready for a fart.
2-LAZY - Just fizzles
3-AMIABLE - Likes to smell others farts
4-SELFISH - Only enjoys smelling own farts
5-CARELESS - Farts in church
6-SMART ALEC - Farts when ladies are present.
7-CLEVER - Farts and coughs at same time
8-SCIENTIFIC - Bottles own farts
9-STINGY - Belches instead of farting to save asshole
10-FOOLISH - Farts and laughs.
11-SHY - Blushes even when farts silently.
12-CONCEITED - Thinks they can fart loudest.
13-UNLUCKY - Tries to fart and shits pants.
14- TIMID - Jumps when farting.
15-BEWILDERED - can't tell own farts from others.
16-SLOVENLY - Farts and fizzles, rots pants.
17-NERVOUS - Stops in middle of fart.
18-MISERABLE - Can't fart
19-CONFUSED - Face looks so much like ass,
Farts don't know where to go.
20-GROUCH - Grumbles when ladies fart.
21-SNEAKY - Farts and blames it on the dog.
22-DISAPPOINTED - Their farts don't stink.
23-FRESH GUY - Jumps in front of you and farts.
24-BIG BULLY - Farts louder than everyone else.
25-DELUDED - Enjoys all farts thinking they are their own.
26-CUTE - Discovers from farts what others have eaten.
27-WISE - Farts and say's "Who in hell shit ??"
28-DAMNED MEAN - Farts in bed and pulls covers over wife's head.
29-MUSICAL - Tenor or bass Clear as a bell
Smells like shit Sounds like hell.
30-HONEST - Farts and blames in on the hostess.
31-LIVELY - Jumps in air, farts three times, kicks like hell simultaneously.