Commented Jokes / Recent Jokes
Once, there were two bikers driving down the highway on a cold afternoon.
"Man! commented one... it's FREEZING!!! and my coat won't zip up. The cold air is killing me!!"
The other biker thought for a minute as they sped down the road. "Well, he said at last... you can turn your jacket around, then the open side would be at the back. You wouldn't get so cold that way."
"Great idea!" commented the other. "stop and let me switch."
The driver pulled over, and the passenger put his jacket on backwards.
"There! he said when he had completed the switch. "I feel better already."
The two of them climbed back on the motorcycle and drove off. Then, suddenly they hit a patch of ice on the road, and spun off and crashed. A few minutes later a crowd had gathered, and when the ambulance arrived, the EMTs shouted out "Is anybody hurt?"
One guy from the crowd replied "Well, the driver was dead when I got more...
Once, there were two bikers driving down the highway on a cold afternoon."Man! commented one... it's FREEZING!!! and my coat won't zip up. The cold air is killing me!!"The other biker thought for a minute as they sped down the road. "Well, he said at last... you can turn your jacket around, then the open side would be at the back. You wouldn't get so cold that way.""Great idea!" commented the other. "stop and let me switch."The driver pulled over, and the passenger put his jacket on backwards."There! he said when he had completed the switch. "I feel better already."The two of them climbed back on the motorcycle and drove off. Then, suddenly they hit a patch of ice on the road, and spun off and crashed. A few minutes later a crowd had gathered, and when the ambulance arrived, the EMTs shouted out "Is anybody hurt?"One guy from the crowd replied "Well, the driver was dead when I got here, and the other guy was doing more...
After Church one Sunday morning, a mother commented: "The choir was awful this morning." The father commented: " The sermon was too long." Their 7 year old daughter added: "You've got to admit it was a pretty good show for a dime."
BETHLEHEM -- It was rumored today that an unmarried couple from
Nazareth stopped in a manger owned by Alfredo Pinchi, a notorious
local slumlord, and a baby was born.
"There was no running water, and the place was filled with straw,"
commented local public health authorities. "We even found a
donkey inside!"
"The mother gave birth under extremely questionable circumstances,"
offered Pontius Pilate, Judean candidate for District Attorney.
"She claims to have been a virgin."
Unconfirmed reports indicate that Roman authorities are
investigating the baby on charges of sedition and treason. "There
are a bunch of people running around alleging that the baby is the
son of God," explained Pilate, "and that he will have some radical
ideas about religion in the future."
Three Kings from the Orient were caught on the outskirts of
Bethlehem more...
The founder of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "You've been a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world.
Your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. God recognized Arthur and commented,
"So you were the one who invented the Harley Davidson motorcycles, eh?"
Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me..." God commented, "Well, what's the big deal about inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution, and can't run without a road!?!"
Arthur was embarrassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me but aren't you the inventor of woman???"
God said, "Ah, yes."
"Well," said Arthur, "Professional to more...
In the men's bathroom, an accountant, a lawyer and a cowboy were standing side-by-side using the urinal.
The accountant finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands...clear up to his elbows....he used 20 paper towels before he finished.
He turned to the other two men and commented, "I graduated from the University of Michigan and they taught us to be clean."
The lawyer finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented, "I graduated from the University of California and they taught us to be environmentally conscious."
The cowboy zipped up and as he was walking out the door said, "I graduated from Texas Tech University and they taught us not to piss on our hands.
After church one Sunday morning, a mother commented, "The choir was
awful this morning."The father commented, "The sermon was too long."Their 7-year-old daughter added, "You've got to admit it was a pretty
good show for a dollar."