Graduated Jokes

Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar.
After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, ''I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland.''
The other guy responds proudly, ''Yes, that I am!''
The first guy says, ''So am I! And where about from
Ireland might you be?''
The other guy answers, ''I'm from Dublin, I am.''
The first guy responds, ''Sure and begora, and so am I!
And what street did you live on in Dublin?''
The other guy says, ''A lovely little area it was, I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town.''
The first guy says, ''Faith & it's a small world, so did I!
And to what school would you have been going?''
The other guy answers, ''Well now, I went to St. Mary's of course.''
The first guy gets really excited, and says, ''And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?''
The other guy answers, ''Well, now, I graduated in 1964.''
The first guy exclaims, ''The Good more...

John Kallam graduated with a BA in criminology and entered the U.S.
Army. He served for 20 years beginning in the late 1930's. He was
an investigator during the Nuremberg trials of Nazi war criminals,
and stayed in Germany for many years organizing civilian police forces
in the post-war era. He also wrote numerous books on criminal
justice. He retired from military service in the late 1950's at the
rank of full colonel.
Returning to Fresno, California, he began teaching criminology at what
was then Fresno State College. (Later to become the California State
University, Fresno.) His work was well respected, but after about ten
years of service, he was called to see the president of the college.
He was informed that he could no longer teach with just a bachelor's
degree. Times were changing, he was told, and the school demanded
that faculty members hold a graduate degree. Merely having 20 years
of distinguished experience was no more...

In the men's bathroom, an accountant, a lawyer and a cowboy were standing side-by-side using the urinal.
The accountant finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands...clear up to his elbows....he used 20 paper towels before he finished.
He turned to the other two men and commented, "I graduated from the University of Michigan and they taught us to be clean."
The lawyer finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented, "I graduated from the University of California and they taught us to be environmentally conscious."
The cowboy zipped up and as he was walking out the door said, "I graduated from Texas Tech University and they taught us not to piss on our hands.

Three women were sitting around and bragging about their children.

The first one says, "You know, my son, he graduated first in his class from Stanford. He`s now a doctor, making $250, 000 a year in Chicago."

The second woman says, "You know my son, he graduated first in his class from Harvard. he`s now a lawyer, making half a million dollars a year and he lives in Los Angeles."

The last woman says, "You know my son, he never did too well in school. He never went to any university but he now makes one million dollars a year in New York working as a sports repairman."

The other two women ask, "What is a sports repairman?"

The woman then replies, "He fixes games... you know, hockey games, football games, baseball games, cricket games...."

There was a man sitting at a bar, and he looks over at the gentleman sitting next to him and says, “Hey, you look familiar. Are you from around here? ”
The man answers, “Yeah, I live down the street. ”
“No kidding? ” says the first man, “Well, so do I. And hey, you look about my age. Where did you go to high school? ”
“Oh I went to Francis Lewis over on Utopia. Graduated in ‘66. How ’bout you? ”
“Get out. I went to Francis Lewis. And I graduated in ‘66, too. Where’d you go to college? ”
“Baylor, in Texas. ”
“No way! I went to Baylor too. What dorm? ”
“Kevin Sullivan dorm. ”
“Sullivan? You’re not going to believe this. . . ”
Joe the bartender walks over, and the first guy says, “Joe, you won’t believe it in a million years. This guy went to the same high school as me, graduated the same year I did, and went to the same college. We were even in the same dorm. Isn’t that amazing? more...