Comments Jokes / Recent Jokes

Actual comments received in 1996 from the Bridger Wilderness registration sheets and comment cards:
Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands.
Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce world-wide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness.
Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals.
All the mile markers are missing this year.
Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse.
Trail needs to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill.
Too many bugs and leaches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.
Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow during the winter.
Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.
The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate more...

Actual feedback card:
(E) Enterprise Rent-a-Car
Comments or Questions?
Should you have any comments, questions or concerns about your rental, please contact the manager where you rented your vehicle. If after doing so, you are still in need of assistance, kindly call me at (301) 670-8649 or complete and mail the following comment card - Your thoughts are always welcome and appreciated.
Thank you,
Edward L. McCarty
President/General Manager
Your rental cars are entirely insufficient for any type of pursuit situation. Cornering in city streets at any speed over 50 miles per hour results in excessive tire slippage and near overturning.
Were it not for my superior driving ability, the irate Iranian clerk and police cruisers surely would have apprehended me. Fortunately, portions of the exhaust system fell in the cruiser's path.
Is it really to much to ask that your cars be capable of speeds over 110 miles per hour? Over my entire trip of some 1800 miles more...

The Bridger Wilderness Area asks hikers in this pristine area to fill out comment cards. These are actual comments left by hikers.
Trail needs to be reconstructed.Please avoid building trails that go uphill.
Too many bugs and leaches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.
Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow during the winter.
Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.
The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals.
A small deer came into my camp and stole my jar of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call ___ ___ ____.
Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights.
Escalators would help on steep uphill sections.
Need more signs to keep area pristine.
A McDonalds would be nice at the more...

Below is an item that appeared recently in various Humor lists. It did not appear credible to me, so I wrote to the Association of Trial Lawyers of America for their comments on its veracity. Their comments (including a little propaganda for their side) follow the summary of the Stella Awards below. We may have some "goofy" legal decisions in America, but the ones below appear to be bogus.
Origin of the Stella Awards:
In 1994, a New Mexico jury awarded $2.9 million U.S. in damages to 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who suffered third-degree burns to her legs, groin and buttocks after spilling a cup of McDonald's coffee on herself.
This case inspired an annual award - The "Stella" Award - for the most frivolous lawsuit in the U.S. The ones listed below are clear candidates.
January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running amuck inside a furniture more...

These are actual student evaulation comments taken from an MIT course evaluation guide in the fall semester of 1991.
"This class was a religious experience for me... I had to take it all on faith."
"Text makes a satisfying 'thud' when dropped on the floor."
"The class is worthwhile because I need it for the degree."
"His blackboard technique puts Rembrandt to shame."
"Textbook is confusing... Someone with a knowledge of English should proofread it."
"Have you ever fell asleep in class and awoke in another? That's the way I felt all term."
"In class I learn I can fudge answers and get away with it."
"Keep lecturer or tenure board will be shot."
"The recitation instructor would make a good parking lot attendant. Tries to tell you where to go, but you can never understand him."
"Text is useless. I use it to kill roaches in my room."
"In more...

You know your joke is bad when....
- All the comments rated -2 or less are the ones that say they actually like it.
- There AREN'T any comments at all.
- People ask if you are boring in real life.
- It was so "not funny", that it was actually funny.
And last but not least
- There are absolutly NO duplicates of your joke because it was so bad.

>? My Boss had a "stroke of genius" and it killed him.
>
>? My Boss recently fired a gay employee. He called it "canning the fruit".
>
>? My Boss is a famous inventor. He created "the fluke".
>
>? Whenever "it's" going to hit the fan, my Boss makes sure I'm right down
>front.
>
>? I work in the company kitchen. My Boss said "If you ever drop food on the
>floor, just put it in the microwave for a few seconds to kill the germs.
>Then go ahead and put it on plates for the customers."
>
>? My Boss was complaining about how much time I used to take my wife to the
>doctor for her leukemia treatments. He said "You're making too much of
>this. We are all going to die sometime. Make sure your career doesn't die
>first."
>
>? We recently moved into a new building that didn't have enough space for
>our cubicles. I was told my cubicle wouldn't more...