Commie Jokes

Silently weeps if you forget to turn off the music while playing Tetris.
The last sensation felt by anyone "borrowing" a pen is the quick sting of several tiny Punji sticks.
No one will carpool with him since that ejector seat incident.
He and his girlfriend Natasha keep threatening to "make big trouble for Moose and Squirrel."
His twin, who looks just like him except that he wears black, keeps coming in at lunch to booby trap his cubicle.
Always trying to convince you that Yakov Smirnoff is actually funny.
You could swear he used to look just like Sean Connery, but now he's the spitting image of Pierce Brosnan.
"I may ask; would you additionally like a packet of oil-fried potato slices, comrade?"
His shoe has a setting for either "Ring" or "Vibrate."
She taps that commie pen on her commie desk the same commie way EVERY FRIGGIN' DAY!
Last October you helped him ship out 750 boxes of old computer more...

There was a mine in a small town that completely collapsed. One of the engineers who miraculously survived the disaster went into the local watering hole. The bar was empty except for one lonely soul at the other end of the bar.
"Hey bartender" said the Engineer, "I'll have a beer and pour another one for my friend down at the end there."
The bartender responded, "I'm sorry sir but that guy's a commie and we don't serve his kind around here."
"Well, you'd better because if it weren't for that guy, I wouldn't be here. You remember that mine that caved in, well I was in that mine and so was that guy. When the last of us were escaping, he held the roof of the mine up with his head! So get him a beer and if you don't believe me, look at the top of his head and you'll see that it's flat from holding the roof up."
The bartender skeptically served the commie his beer and then came back to talk to the Engineer: "I saw the flat spot more...

There was a mine in a small town that completely collapsed. One of the engineers who miraculously survived the disaster went into the local watering hole. The bar was empty except for one lonely soul at the other end of the bar."Hey bartender" said the Engineer, "I'll have a beer and pour another one for my friend down at the end there."The bartender responded, "I'm sorry sir but that guy's a commie and we don't serve his kind around here.""Well, you'd better because if it weren't for that guy, I wouldn't be here. You remember that mine that caved in, well I was in that mine and so was that guy. When the last of us were escaping, he held the roof of the mine up with his head! So get him a beer and if you don't believe me, look at the top of his head and you'll see that it's flat from holding the roof up."The bartender skeptically served the commie his beer and then came back to talk to the Engineer: "I saw the flat spot on his head but I more...

There was a mine in a small town that completely collapsed. One of the engineers who miraculously survived the disaster went into the local watering hole. The bar was empty except for one lonely soul at the other end of the bar." Hey bartender" said the Engineer, "I'll have a beer and pour another one for my friend down at the end there." The bartender responded, "I'm sorry sir but that guy's a commie and we don't serve his kind around here." "Well, you'd better because if it weren't for that guy, I wouldn't be here. You remember that mine that caved in, well I was in that mine and so was that guy. When the last of us were escaping, he held the roof of the mine up with his head! So get him a beer and if you don't believe me, look at the top of his head and you'll see that it's flat from holding the roof up." The bartender skeptically served the commie his beer and then came back to talk to the Engineer: "I saw the flat spot on his head but more...

At the Asia-Pacific Summit today President Bush pointed out that times have changed. "The Vietnamese used to be commie pink-o's but now they are commie red, white and blue-o's....he he."