Community Jokes / Recent Jokes
Former New York City Mayor and GOP presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani will speak at Pat Robertson's Regent University in April, the school announced Thursday.
The news comes a day after it was announced that former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, one of Giuliani's chief rivals for the Republican presidential nomination, will deliver Regent's commencement address on May 5.
Giuliani will be the featured speaker at the University's Executive Leadership Series on April 17. The forum will be available to both Regent students and members of the community, according to Regent spokeswoman Sherri Stocks.
"Having provided strong leadership during critical times uniquely qualifies Mayor Rudy Giuliani to speak to Regent students and local community members," Stocks told CNN, adding "and having no qualms about hypocricy uniquely qualifies him to kiss Pat Robertson's ass."
1. Binglish (for Bombay_English).
2. Bhindi (for Bombay_Hindi)
3. This list is perpetually incomplete since the evolution of this language can never possibly cease.
4. Bhindi/Binglish: Pronunciations are in brackets following the words.
5. Chikna - Stands for any good looking fellow. Chikna actually means smooth.
6. Keeda - An absolute pest.
7. Jhakaas - Superb. Excellent.
8. Haila! - This originated from "Hai Allah! " but I don't think 99% of the users know about this. Haila would translate to "Oh God!"
9. ChappanTikkli/Punter/Tapori/Shana - Roadside loafer. Tapori is among the most commonly used words in Bhindi.
10. Bevada / Gutter / Taankee / Batli / JohnnyWalker - A Drunk.
11. Saand - A boisterous or an exceeding brash guy.
12. Chotay - For any kid working in a Tapri. If the shop has more than one kid all would have to be more...
Singer Chris Brown was sentenced today to 5 years probation and 1400 hours "Labored Community Service" The singer was excited about the community service until his lawyer explained that "No driving around and beating up Prostitutes does not fall into what the judge was thinking as a community service"
It was announced today that liberalism may be genetically determined. A lengthy article in the current issue of "HEY !" threatens to overshadow the announcement by Government scientists that there might be a hidden dormant gene for compassion in men.
Reports of the gene codes which predispose one to liberal views were discovered after a long study in Brite Orange County CA, has sent shock waves through medical, political and yuppie communities.
Psychologists have long believed the "off-the-wall" liberals' unnatural and frequently unconstitutional radical tendencies resulted from an unhealthy family life - a remarkably high percentage of liberals had whimpy and submissive fathers, as well as latent lesbian mothers who didn't teach them traditions at all. Biologists have long suspected that liberal tendencies are inherited. "After all" said one author of the article, "It's quite common for such a free spirit to have a brother or sister who also more...
A protestant moved into a completely Catholic community. Being good Catholics they welcomed him into their community. But, also because they were good Catholics they did not eat red meat on Fridays. So, when their neighbor began barbequeing some juicy steak on Friday night, they began to squirm.
They were so annoyed that they went to talk to him about it. After much talk they conviced him to become Catholic. The next Sunday he went to the priest and the priest sprinkled holy water on him and said: You were born Protestant. You were raised Protestant. But now you are Catholic!
And so, the next Friday, as the neighbors sat down to eat their fish, they were disturbed by the smell of roast beef coming from the neighboring house. They went over to talk to the new Catholic because he knew he was not supposed to eat beef on Fridays. When they saw him, he was sprinkling ketchup on the beef saying: You were born a cow. You were raised a cow. But now you are fish!
A protestant moved into a completely Catholic community. Being good Catholics they welcomed him into their community. But, also because they were good Catholics they did not eat red meat on Fridays. So, when their neighbor began barbequeing some juicy steak on Friday night, they began to squirm.They were so annoyed that they went to talk to him about it. After much talk they conviced him to become Catholic. The next Sunday he went to the priest and the priest sprinkled holy water on him and said:You were born Protestant.You were raised Protestant.But now you are Catholic! And so, the next Friday, as the neighbors sat down to eat their fish, they were disturbed by the smell of roast beef coming from the neighboring house. They went over to talk to the new Catholic because he knew he was not supposed to eat beef on Fridays. When they saw him, he was sprinkling ketchup on the beef saying:You were born a cow.You were raised a cow.But now you are fish!
A Barber commited a crime, and had to go before a judge. Since it was his first time the Judge only gave him a community service in his own field.
He must give free hair cuts for one month, and every time a customer asks how much for the hair cut, he has to explain his crime, and that this is his community service.
Anyway, he was happy, because anything beats the jail.
first day he gave a hair cut to a Florist, the florist asked, how much at the end, he replied, oh nothing... explained the Judge's order.
Next day when he came to open the shop, there was a bouquet of flowers and a thankyou card.
That day a person came who owned a chocolate shop, after the hair cut he too asked, how much? the barber said oh no charge because... Judge's order.
Next day when he came to open his shop, he saw a box of chocolate and a thankyou card, That day he gave a hair cut to an East Indian, The East Indian asked how mucH? The barber said nothing because... Judge's Order.
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