Conflicting Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man, called in for an audit by the IRS, asked his accountant and his lawyer what he should wear. "Wear casual clothing and an old pair of shoes. Don't let them think you are a wealthy man," the accountant replied.

The lawyer disagreed. "Wear your best suit and tie," he said. "Don't let them think they can intimidate you."

Confused, the man went to his minister, told him of the conflicting advice, and asked him what he should do. "Let me tell you a story," replied the minister. "A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night.' Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck and wool socks.' But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice: "Wear your most sexy, sheer negligee!"

"But Reverend," the man protested, "What does that have to do with the IRS?"

"It doesn't matter what you wear," more...

A man, called to an audit by the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear.' Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper.'

Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice.' Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie.'

Confused, the man went to his buddy, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of the dilemma.' Let me tell you a story,'

Replied the buddy.

'A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night.' Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.' But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice.' Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V neck right down to your navel.'

The man protested:' What does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?'

The buddy responded: "'No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed"

A man, called to an audit by the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on
what to wear. "Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a
pauper." Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite
advice. "Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and
tie."
Confused, the man went to his rabbi, told him of the conflicting advice,
and
requested some resolution of the dilemma. "Let me tell you a story,"
replied
the rabbi. "A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on
her wedding night. 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right
up
to your neck.' But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting
advice. 'Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V neck right down to your
navel.'
The man protested: "What does all this have to do with my problem with the
IRS?"
"No matter what you wear, you are going to get more...

A man, called to testify at the IRS asked his accountant for advice on what to wear.
"Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper," the accountant replied.
Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. "Don't let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie."
Confused, the man went to his Rabbi, told him of the conflicting advice and requested some resolution of the dilemma.
"Let me tell you a story," replied the Rabbi. "A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night.
"Wear a heavy, long, flannel night-gown that goes right up to your neck."
But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice.
"Wear your most sexy underwear."
The man protested, "What does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?"
The Rabbi replied, "No matter what you wear my son, you're going to get more...

A man, called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. "Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper." Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. "Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie." Confused, the man went to his rabbi, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of the dilemma. "Let me tell you a story," replied the rabbi. "A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.' But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice. 'Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V-neck right down to your navel. The man protested: "What does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?" "No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed."

A man called to testify at the Revenue Canada, (Canada's IRS) asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. "Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper," the accountant replied.
Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. "Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie."
Confused, the man went to his Priest, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of the dilemma.
"Let me tell you a story," replied the Priest. "A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.' But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice. Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V neck right down to your navel."
The man protested: "What does all this have to do with my problem with the Revenue Canada?!"
"Simple", replied the more...

A man called to testify at the Revenue Canada, (Canada's IRS) asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. "Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper," the accountant replied.Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. "Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie."Confused, the man went to his Priest, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of the dilemma."Let me tell you a story," replied the Priest. "A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.' But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice. Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V neck right down to your navel."The man protested: "What does all this have to do with my problem with the Revenue Canada?!""Simple", replied the Priest..."It doesn't more...