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Consider how hard it is to change

Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you will understand what little chance you have trying to change others.

Redneck quickies 17

You might be a redneck if...
You roll you hair with soup cans and wash it once a year.
You've never paid for a haircut.
You consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear.
There is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
You think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just "misunderstood".
You've ever made change in the offering plate.
The fifth grade is referred to as "your senior year."
You consider a good tan to be the back of of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve...
You own at least 20 baseball hats.
You think a 'cursor' is someone who swears a lot.

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You just might be a graduate student if...

...you can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate.
...your office is better decorated than your apartment.
...you have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the progress of your own joke across the Internet.
...you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.
...you have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.
...you rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop.
...everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
...you have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.
...you have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while researching a single paper.
...there is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider "yours."
...you actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.
...you can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the library.
...you look forward to summers because you're more productive without the more...

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You Might Be A College Student If

If you have ever price shopped for Top Ramen.
If you live in a house with three couches, none of which match.
If you consider Mac and Cheese a balanced meal.
If you have ever written a check for 45 cents.
If you have a fine collection of domestic beer bottles.
If you have ever seen two consecutive sunrises without sleeping.
If your glass set is composed of McDonald's Extra Value Meal Plastic
Cups (ie. Olympic Dream Team I or II).
If your underwear supply dictates the time between laundry loads.
If you cannot remember when you last washed your car.
If you can pack your worldly possesions into the back of a pick-up
(one trip).
If you have ever had to justify yourself for buying Natural Light.
If the first thing you do in the morning is roll over and introduce
yourself.
If your bed time is no longer 10:00 PM, but 3:00 AM.
If you consider pizza one of the four major food groups.
If you consider the other three to be beer, more...