Conspiracy Jokes

Newsgroups: alt.angst
Subject: Take me to your leader
From: Dennis
UFOs are nothing to worry about
There was a guy on the front page of the local newspaper the other day who claimed the US government is involved in a conspiracy to cover up the existence of aliens visiting Earth. Well, the only person who could pull off that kind of conspiracy was buried last week. Clinton can't even hide a bad condo deal much less the mother ship from the plant Zenon. Perhaps that was what was on those lost 18 minutes of Watergate tapes. Perhaps Nixon and Elvis are serving Slurpees in an Idaho Falls Seven-11 right now.
Perhaps there is a certain percentage of the population that is just spared the ravages of intelligence here so they seek it elsewhere.
Well if these really are aliens visiting us, they are goofy aliens. I'm not sure we have much to fear or much to learn from a culture that travels light years across the galaxy just to mess up our wheat fields and abduct guys more...

I disapprove of every conspiracy of which I am not a part.

One morning, President Reagan woke up to a beautiful snowy noon. He
looked out of his window upon the snow-covered White House lawn and
marveled at its beauty. Then he noticed something. Yellow lines in
the snow. On further investigation, our President realized that the
lines spelled out "Reagan Sucks" in urine. Furious, he called the
Washington, DC police and demanded to know who had inscribed these
blasphemous words on his lawn. After a lengthy investigation, the
police found no clues.
Later that afternoon, after a brief snowfall, the president awoke
again to find the same words once more decorating the new-fallen
snow. This time, President Ron called the FBI and ordered them to
find out who was responsible. The FBI too mounted a massive
investigation, but were only able to determine that no intruder had
access to the White House lawn and therefore the perpetrator had to
be someone on his own staff.
When the next more...