Abduct Jokes

Newsgroups: alt.angst
Subject: Take me to your leader
From: Dennis
UFOs are nothing to worry about
There was a guy on the front page of the local newspaper the other day who claimed the US government is involved in a conspiracy to cover up the existence of aliens visiting Earth. Well, the only person who could pull off that kind of conspiracy was buried last week. Clinton can't even hide a bad condo deal much less the mother ship from the plant Zenon. Perhaps that was what was on those lost 18 minutes of Watergate tapes. Perhaps Nixon and Elvis are serving Slurpees in an Idaho Falls Seven-11 right now.
Perhaps there is a certain percentage of the population that is just spared the ravages of intelligence here so they seek it elsewhere.
Well if these really are aliens visiting us, they are goofy aliens. I'm not sure we have much to fear or much to learn from a culture that travels light years across the galaxy just to mess up our wheat fields and abduct guys more...