Constable Jokes

Two pandits riding on a cycle were stopped by a Sardarji constable."Don't you know riding on with pillon is forbidden in Punjab?" asked the constable, " I am going to fine you."
The pandits pleaded their innocence of the rules but he refused to let them go. Very exasperated the pandit who was driving the cycle replied, "All right, God is with us. Do what you like." " In that case, I'll fine you for having two on the pillion behind you".

A police constable arrested some people printing fake currency notes and asked for instructions about what to do with them.' Send notes to headquarters/ came the reply.

No notes were received. So a reminder was sent to the constable.

He sent back the explanation,' Notes forwarded by postal money order.'

A CONSTABLE nabbed four boys and charged them for gambling in a public place. He asked the first, "What were you up to?"
"Nothing Sir," replied the boy. "I just happened to be passing this way."
"And you?" he asked the second boy.
"Sir, I was waiting for the bus."
The policeman turned to the third boy. "Sir, I don't even know how to play cards, how could I gamble on them?"
The constable let the boys go but caught the fourth boy who had the pack of cards with him. "Then it must be you who was gambling."
"No, Sir, there was no one I could gamble with," he replied.

The following is a courtroom exchange between a defense attorney and
a farmer with a bodily injury claim. It came from a Houston, Texas
insurance agent.
Attorney: "At the scene of the accident, did you tell the constable
you had never felt better in your life?"
Farmer: "That's right."
Attorney: "Well, then, how is it that you are now claiming you were
seriously injured when my client's auto hit your wagon?"
Farmer: "When the constable arrived, he went over to my horse, who
had a broken leg, and shot him. Then he went over to Rover, my dog,
who was all banged up, and shot him. When he asked me how I felt, I
just thought under the circumstances, it was a wise choice of words
to say I've never felt better in my life.

The following is a courtroom exchange between a defense attorneyand a farmer with a bodily injury claim. It came from a Houston, Texas insurance agent. Attorney: "At the scene of the accident, did you tell the constable you had never felt better in your life?"Farmer: "That's right."Attorney: "Well, then, how is it that you are now claiming you were seriously injured when my client's auto hit your wagon?"Farmer: "When the constable arrived, he went over to my horse, who had a broken leg, and shot him. Then he went over to Rover, mydog, who was all banged up, and shot him. When he asked me how I felt, I just thought under the circumstances, it was a wise choice of wordsto say I've never felt better in my life.