Construction Jokes / Recent Jokes

A construction worker on the third floor of a building is in need of a handsaw. He sees another worker on the first floor and yells down to him, but the man indicates that he can't hear him. So, the guy on the third floor attempts to use some signs. He points to his eye, meaning 'I', then to his knee, meaning 'need', then he moves his hand back and forth, meaning 'handsaw'.
Seeing this, the worker on the first floor nods, drops his pants, and starts to masturbate.
The man on the third floor freaks out and runs down to the first floor screaming, "What the hell is wrong with you? Are you stupid or something?!? I was telling you that I need a handsaw?"
The guy on the first floor looks at him and replies, "I knew that. I was just telling you that I was coming!"

A construction worker on the third floor of a building needs a handsaw.
He sees one of his collegues on the first floor. He yells down to him, but the man cant hear, so he uses signs.
He points at his eye meaning I, then at his knee meaning need, and then moves his hand back and forth meaning handsaw. The man on the first floor nods, then drops his pants and starts masturbating.
The man on the third floor gets really angry and runs down to the first floor and yells:
"What the fuck is wrong with you, you bloody dumbass?! I said I need a handsaw!"
The other guy says:
"I knew that, I was just trying to tell you that I'm coming."

A construction worker was whistling and verbally harassinga young girl as she walked by the construction site.She completely ignored him, and just kept on walking.Annoyed the worker yelled "Well you're an ugly bitch anyway!"The girl turned around and replied "It must be terrible wheneven an ugly bitch won't give you the time of day?"

IN COMPUTER HEAVEN: The management is from Intel, The design and construction is done by Apple, The marketing is done by Microsoft, IBM provides the support, Gateway determines the pricing. IN COMPUTER HELL: The management is from Apple, Microsoft does design and construction, IBM handles the marketing, The support is from Gateway, Intel sets the price.

An Irishman, a Mexican-American, and a blond guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch, and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."
The Mexican-American opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
The blond guy opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."
Next day the Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage, and jumps to his death. The Mexican-American opens his lunch, sees a burrito, and he jumps too. The blonde guy opens his lunch, sees the bologna, and jumps to his death also.
At the funeral the Irishman's wife is weeping. She says, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to more...

Anthony is currently informing family and friends that he is not in Afghanistan but is in fact working on a construction site in Queens, for his uncles construction company

A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

The young family's 6 year old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.

She hung around and eventually the construction crew - gems in the rough all of them - more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot.

They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a dollar.

The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the dollar pay she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When they got to the bank the teller was equally more...