Containing Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man wanted to prove to a group of alcoholics the effect of alcohol in human body system. He brought two jars; one containing water and the other containing alcohol, along with a very healthy worm. He said to the audience:

"This jar contain water"
He dropped the worm in the jar and said, "Please watch the reaction". The worm swam to the side of the jar and up it floats dangling and swimming.

The man took the worm out of the first jar and put it in the second jar containing alcohol and said to the audience " now watch the reaction" The worm went right down into the water and struggled for survival. There and then every body saw the worm shrinking and dis-integrating, and in one word, died.

The man turned round an asked the audience " what would you all say to this".

After a long silence, someone from the rear stood up and said
"

A Hindu gets on a plane and sits next to a European.
As the plane takes off, he unrolls a wrapper containing Hindu vegetarian food which smells so much that the European's nose twitches.
He turns to the man and says, "Food India" with a grin.
He then takes out a container containing the foulest smelling liquid and again the man at the side has a twitching nose.
He grins sheepishly at the man and says, "Sorry. Drink India"
He then proceeds with his meal.
As soon as he has finished he farts. It is a loud, long fart.
He grins sheeepishly and says, "Air India"

A Hindu gets on a plane and sits next to a European.
As the plane takes off, he unrolls a wrapper containing Hindu vegetarian food which smells so much that the European's nose twitches.
He turns to the man and says, "Food India" with a grin.
He then takes out a container containing the foulest smelling liquid and again the man at the side has a twitching nose.
He grins sheepishly at the man and says, "Sorry. Drink India"
He then proceeds with his meal.
As soon as he has finished he farts. It is a loud, long fart.
He grins sheeepishly and says, "Air India"

A red-head, a brunette and a blonde perform a Post Office robbery. They are on the run from the police and they have to ditch their car and go cross country.

They are all getting tired and happen across an old farm with a huge barn. Sneaking inside the barn, they see three old flour sacks. They all hide in separate sacks.

The police enter the barn and upon seeing the sacks, kick the first one containing the redhead. The redhead says "Woof!".

"Nothing in here but a dog sarge" says the constable. "We'd better move on".

They kick the sack containing the brunette. "Miaow!" she says.

"Nothing in here but a cat sarge. Better move on".

They kick the sack containing the blonde and the blonde says "Potatoes!"