Cook Jokes / Recent Jokes
A hungry man went into a restaurant and noticed that the daily special was rabbit burgers, a real delicacy, for only 49 cents a burger. He was astounded at his good fortune to find such a bargain. When he inquired of the cook, the cook told him that in order to keep prices down he had to add some filler: in fact, only part of the burger was rabbit meat. The rest was horse meat.
"How much of each kind of meat is in a burger?" asked the customer.
The cook replied, "There is an equal amount of horse and rabbit in the burger: One horse, one rabbit."
Editor's note: Not to ruin the joke, but it might be a bit offensive, especially to those sensitive to women and violence issues. Thus endeth the Warning.
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There was a Women's Rights Meeting, and all the Women who had been "liberated" previously were planning on getting together and discussing their various successes.
An English woman stood up and said, "After our last meeting, I went straight home and told my husband that I was not going to cook for him any more, I am not here just to serve him, and he better start pulling his own weight. After the first day, I could not see any changes, after the second day, still could not see anything, after the third day, he cooked a meal, it was not the best thing I have tasted, but it was a start, and now, 6 months later I am getting gourmet meals all the time."
An American woman stood up, and said, " After our last meeting, I went straight home, and told my husband that more...
A young man at his first job as a waiter in a diner has a large trucker sit down at the counter and order, "Gimme 3 flat tires and a couple of headlights."
Bewildered he goes to the kitchen and tells the cook, "I think this guy's in the wrong store, look at what he ordered!"
The cook says, "He wants 3 pancakes & 2 eggs sunny-side up."
The waiter takes a bowl of beans to the trucker.
He looks at it and growls, "What's this? I didn't order this!"
The young man tells him, "The cook says that while you're waiting for your parts you might as well gas up.
Q: Why did the cook get fired from his job?
A: Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream.
A priest is walking along a pier in Rome when he sees a fisherman ready to go out fishing.
He starts a conversation and the fisherman asks if he would like to go fishing with him. The priest says he knows nothing about fishing. The fisherman says he'll explain everything the priest needs to know.
As soon as they get out into deep water, the priest reels in this huge fish. The fisherman looks at the fish and says" Father, that's one big son-of-a-bitch"
The priest looks at the man and says " My son, please refrain from using that kind of language."
The fisherman thinks quick and says" No father, that's what they call this type of fish, a son-of-a-bitch"
The priest, knowing nothing about fishing says" What an interesting name"
When they get back to land, the priest is excited about the fish he caught. He runs to the parish and sees the Bishop in the Chapel.
"Hey Bishop, look at the size of this son-of-a-bitch more...
A Thanksgiving Cookbook
by Mrs. Geraghty's Kindergarten Class
NOTE: Mrs. Geraghty will not be reponsible for medical bills resulting from use of her cookbook.
Ivette - Banana Pie
You buy some bananas and crust. Then you mash them up and put them in the pie. Then you eat it.
Russell - Turkey
You cut the turkey up and put it in the oven for ten minutes and 300 degrees. You put gravy on it and eat it.
Geremy - Turkey
You buy the turkey and take the paper off. Then you put it in the refrigerator and take it back out and cut it with a knife and make sure all the wires are out and take out the neck and heart. Then you put it in a big pan and cook it for half an hour at 80 degrees. Then you invite people over and eat.
Andrew - Pizza
Buy some dough, some cheese and pepperoni. Then you cook it for 10 hours at 5 degrees. Then you eat it.
Shelby - Applesauce
Go to the store and buy some apples, and then you squish them up. Then you put more...