Cook Jokes / Recent Jokes
How do you know if a blonde is a good cook? She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.
I told my blonde girlfriend that I was going skeet shooting. She told me she didn't know how to cook them.
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A husband and wife (a blonde) went to the fairgrounds. The wife wanted to go on the ferris wheel, but the husband wasn't comfortable with that. So the wife went on the ride by herself. The wheel went round and round and suddenly the wife was thrown out and landed in a heap at her husband's feet. "Are you hurt?" he asked.
"Of course I'm hurt!"
she replied. "Three times around and you didn't wave once!"
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A dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, "Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test."
"Oh, No!" she said but Saint Peter said not to worry he'd make it easy.
"Who was God's son?" said Saint Peter.
The dumb Blonde more...
Teacher: Now Tell Me, Usha, Do You Say Your Prayers Before Eating?
Usha: Ma'am, I Don't Have To. My Mom Is A Good Cook.
A young man at his first job as a waiter in a diner has a large trucker sit down at the counter and order, "Gimme 3 flat tires and a couple of headlights."
Bewildered he goes to the kitchen and tells the cook, "I think this guy's in the wrong store, look at what he ordered!"
The cook says, "He wants 3 pancakes & 2 eggs sunny-side up."
The waiter takes a bowl of beans to the trucker.
He looks at it and growls, "What's this? I didn't order this!"
The young man tells him, "The cook says that while you're waiting for your parts you might as well gas up!"
The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.The trees are whistling for the dogs.The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.Hot water now comes out of both taps. You can make sun tea instantly.You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.You actually burn your hand opening the car door.You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.The potatoes cook underground, so all you have todo is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.The cows are giving evaporated milk.
Hal E. Luya (Hallelujah)
Hal Jalikakick (How'd ya like a kick)
Hammond Eggs (Ham and Eggs)
Hank E. Panky (Hanky Panky)
Harmon Ikka (Harmonica)
Harris Mint (Harassment)
Harrison Fire (Hair is on Fire)
Harry Balzac (Hairy Ball Sack)
Harry Weiner (Hairy Wiener)
Hayden Seek (Hide & Seek)
Haywood Jablowme (Hey, Would You Blow Me?)
Haywood Jashootmee (Hey Would You Shoot Me?)
Hein Noon (High Noon)
Helen Back (Hell and Back)
Helena Hanbaskett (Hell In A Hand Basket)
Henador Titzhoff (He Gnawed Her Tits Off)
Herbie Hind (Her Behind)
Herb E. Side (Herbiside)
Herbie Voor (Herbivore)
Holden Mcgroin (Holding My Groin)
Holly Dayin (Holiday Inn)
Holly Wood (Hollywood)
Homan Provement (Home Improvent)
Homer Sexual (Homosexual)
Howard I. No (How Would I Know?)
Howe D. Pardner (Howdy Partner)
Hu Flung Pu (Who Flung Poo?)
Huang Annsaw (Wrong Answer)
Hugh Beeotch more...
Fred: I thought there was a choice for lunch today.. Cook: There is. Fred: No, there isnt. Theres only cheese pie. Cook: You can choose to eat it or leave it.