Correct Jokes / Recent Jokes

An explorer is searching in the Amazon jungle for this lost tribe whose women are reputed to have vaginas that are three inches wide and twelve inches long.

Finally he finds the tribe and is invited to sit down with the chief.

"Is it correct," he says to the chief, "that your women have vaginas that are three inches wide and twelve inches long?"

"That correct, man," says the chief.

"However do you manage to have sex with women with vaginas that are three inches wide and twelve inches long?" inquires the explorer.

"The chief looks at him as if he were an idiot and says, "They stretch, man. They stretch!"

This quiz consists of four questions that tell you whether or not
you are qualified to be a professional. SCROLL DOWN FOR THE
ANSWERS. There is no need to cheat. The questions are not that
difficult. You just need to think like a professional.
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
..




The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the
giraffe and close the door.
This question tests whether or not you are doing simple things in
a complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
..



Incorrect answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and
close the door.






Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator remove the giraffe and put
in the elephant and close the door. This question tests your
foresight.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the
animals attend except one. Which more...

Dear Mr. Architect,

Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion.

My house should have between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.

Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don`t have nearly enough insulation in them).

As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. more...

The Politically Correct National Football League would like to announce its name changes and schedules for the' 99 season:

The Washington Native Americans will host the New York Very Tall People on in week 5. Other key games include the Dallas Western-Style Laborers hosting the St. Louis Uninvited Guests, and the Minnesota Plundering Norsemen taking on the Green Bay Meat Industry Workers.

In Week 6, there are several key matchups, highlighted by the showdown between the San Francisco Precious Metal Enthusiasts and the New Orleans Pretty Good People. The Atlanta Birds of Prey will play host to the Philadelphia Birds of Prey, while the Seattle Birds of Prey will visit the Phoenix Male Finches.

The Monday night game will pit the Miami Pelagic Percoid Food Fishes against the Denver Untamed Beasts of Burden. The Cincinnati Large Bangladeshi Carnivorous Mammals will travel to Tampa Bay for a clash with the West Indies Free Booters later in Week 9. And the more...

Here's the first installment of politically correct TV shows coming up in the fall TV season, complete with ratings supplied by Big Brother (offensive to the politically correct):
Sunday night:
"Mystery, She Wrote":
Cabot Cove is engulfed by a wave of anonymous charitable gifts. The mayor asks Jessica to investigate so the donors can be honored in a public ceremony. Ratings: S/MU, ALG.
[See ratings at the end of this listing.]
"The Sunday Night Movie: Blowing Up in Beverly Hills":
A made-for-TV movie based on an actual event. After two troubled siblings (real-life brothers Emilio Estevez and Charlie Sheen) contemplate murdering their wealthy but insensitive parents, they decide instead to go to court. While attending mandatory therapy, the family explores and heals deep-seated conflicts. Inspired by the trial of Lyle and Erik Menendez. Dr. Goodfellow: Alan Alda. First of two parts. Ratings: S/MU, VATCOT, RPSE.
"Married... Happily more...

Here's the next installment of politically correct TV shows coming up in the fall TV season, complete with ratings supplied by Big Brother (offensive to the politically correct, the differently abled, Bill Clinton and his fans, and liberal apologists):
Thursday night's programs:
"The Simpsons":
For his Eagle Scout community service project, Bart develops a workable plan to convert Springfield's nuclear power plant into a solar facility.
Guest voice: Vice President Al Gore.
Ratings: S/MU, WW, RPSE.
"American Playhouse: Young Mr. Clinton":
In a performance entitled "Doobie-ous Battle", while protesting the Vietnam War in England, Bill smokes marijuana without inhaling. Part 12 of 15.
Next week: "To Russia with Love."
Ratings: S/MU, ISS, PCMM.
"L.A. Law":
Douglas finally signs on to a plan to turn McKenzie-Brackman into a non-profit legal defense clinic. Stuart realizes the political more...

On rare circumstances the behavior of a user of this site is deemed so inappropriate that they will not be allowed to become an editor even with the correct number of points or even if they were already an editor when they had the bad behavior.
Bad behavior includes such things as registering multiple fake accounts, submitting jokes that are not jokes, or that are abusive to other users of the website, or submitting false duplicate reports or misusing the joke-correction functionality of this website.