Costume Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man enters a costume shop and says to the female clerk, "I'm going to a costume party and I'd like to go as Adam."
The girl goes to the back of the shop and brings the man a fig leaf.
"Oh, that's not big enough," he says, with a chuckle.
The girl brings out a bigger leaf.
"Nope," he says, "still not big enough."
So, the girl brings out a HUGE fig leaf.
"Sorry, but that's still not big enough," he says, with a broad grin.
"Listen, Hot Shot," the girl snaps, "why not just throw it over your shoulder and go as a gasoline pump!"

A guy goes into a costume shop. He says, "I'm going to a costume party. I want to go as Adam."

The girl brings out a fig leaf. He says, "Not big enough." She brings out a bigger one.

He says, "Still not big enough." She brings out a huge fig leaf.

He says, "Still not big enough."

She says, "Listen, Ace, why don't you just throw it over your shoulder and go as a gasoline pump?"

A couple was invited to a swanky Halloween party by a family friend, in which all attendees were required to wear a mask. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone, and to make sure to say hello to her family.

He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke without pain and as it was still early, decided to go to the party. As her husband didn't know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his costume, cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice "chick" he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.

His more...

Peg-Leg Baldy A bald man with a peg leg gets invited to a costume party. Being shy and self-conscious about his appearance, he goes to the best costume shop in town. When he gets there, he tells the shop owner his situation and that he would rather cover his head and leg with a costume instead instead of exploiting his apparent problems. So, the shop owner comes back with a lifeguard costume. The man says, "No, no. That will show off my peg leg. I can't hide it with that. Try again." So the shop owner leaves and comes back with a monk costume And again the man says, "No, no. I can't wear that. It will make people notice my head." Obviously pissed off, the shop owner leaves and comes back with a five-pound bag of caramels, gives it to the man and says, "Here. Just take this." Confused, the man says, "What am I suposed to do with a bag of caramels?" Smiling, the shop owner says, "Take home this bag of caramels, melt them, pour it all over more...

All eyes turned to stare as a gorgeous redhead walked into the costume party stark naked. The alarmed host rushed to intercept her. "Where's your costume?" he hissed through clenched teeth.
"This is it," she calmly explained. "I came as Adam."
"Adam?" her host exploded. "You don't even have a Dick!"
"I just got here, Jeremy," she replied. "Give me a few minutes."

A man and his wife were supposed to go to a costume party together one Halloween, but when the time came to go the party, the woman told him to go on without her, because she said she had a terrible headache. The man reluctantly did, and the suspicious wife decided to see just how faithful her man really was. She put on a different costume and went to the party. When she got there she saw her husband dancing with a young girl in a sexy costume. Now, even more suspicious, she decided to really put him to the test. She danced with him and whispered that they should sneak into a bedroom. She insisted they leave the masks on and had sex with him. Fuming, she ran home to wait for his return. When he got there, she innocently asked if he'd had fun. He told her he hadn't. After a few minutes at the party, he and some guys had gone across the street to play poker. He added, "The guy who borrowed my costume said he had a hell of a time, though!"

A couple was invited to a masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache
and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband,
protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to
bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he
took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it
was still early, she decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did
not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching
her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance
floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and a little kiss here, a little
kiss there and sometimes a little bit more. His wife sidled up to him and being
a rather seductive woman herself, he left his partner high and dry more...