Costume Jokes / Recent Jokes
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Costume Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He protested, ever the devoted husband, but she insisted: she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled. So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife slept soundly for an hour and awakened without pain. As it was still early, she decided to go to the party. Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching him to see how he acted when she was not around.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every woman he could, and touching a little bit here and a sneaking a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and, since she was a rather seductive woman, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.
She let him go as far as he more...
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween party. Unfortunately, the wife had a horrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. Being the devoted husband, he protested, but she argued that there was no need for his good time to be spoiled just because she wasn't going. She was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and urged him to go to the party and enjoy himself.
After taking some aspirin and sleeping for an hour or so, the wife awakened without any pain and as it was still early, decided to go to the party.
Since her husband had no idea what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching him to see how he acted when she wasn't with him.
She joined the party and quickly spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every chick he could, copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. She casually sidled up to him and being a seductive woman herself, he left his partner high and dry and turned his more...
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain. As it was still early, she decided to go to the party. Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun watching him to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice woman he could, copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him. As a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just more...
It's Halloween and everyone's out trick-or-treating. A bartender is working the late-night shift at the bar. He looks outside and sees everyone in crazy costumes. He sighs and picks up a glass and starts cleaning it.
At around midnight, a guy in a vampire costume walks in and sits at the bar. He says to the bartender "Hi. I'm a vampire and I'd like a cup of human blood please."
The bartender looks at him skeptically. "No you're not. You're just wearing a costume."
"No, no, really," he insists. "I'm a vampire and I'd like a cup of human blood please."
"Alright," the bartender says. He goes in the back and comes out with a cup of blood. He gives it to the vampire who drinks it right away.
"Thanks," he says, and leaves.
An hour later another vampire comes in and sits at the bar. He says "Hi, I'm a vampire and I'd like a cup of human blood please."
"Okay," the bartender says and more...
Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the moose love call. Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "Okay, let's get out and get him." After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do?" The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but you'd better brace yourself."
Roscoe and his friend went moose hunting every year without success.
Finally, they came up with what they hoped was a foolproof plan. They acquired a very authentic moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then jump out of the costume and shoot the bull.
Setting themselves upon the edge of a clearing in their costume, they began to give the moose "call o'love". Before too long their call was answered by a bull moose some distance away. They called again, and the bull answered from somewhere closer. Again they called, and again the bull answered. Soon he came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing.
As the bull's pounding hoofbeats got closer, the friend in the front said, "O.K.! Lets get out and shoot him!"
After a moment that seemed like an eternity Roscoe who's in the rear half of the costume shouted, "THE ZIPPER IS STUCK! WHAT ARE WE more...
Every winter, two hunters went moose hunting but never had any success. Finally, they felt they had come up with a foolproof plan. They obtained an authentic looking female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose.
Their plan was to put on the costume, lure the bull, then get out of the costume and shoot it. They set themselves up at the edge of a clearing, got in the costume and began giving the moose love call.
Before they knew it, their call had been answered and a bull came crashing out of the forest, straight into the clearing. As soon as the bull got close enough, the fellow in the front said, "Now! Let's get out and get him."
After a moment that seemed to last forever, the fellow in the back shouted, "Damn, the zipper's stuck. What do we do now?"
"I'm going to start nibbling the grass," the fellow in front replied, "but you'd better brace yourself!"