Costume Jokes / Recent Jokes

An Irishman was in the South of France and could not understand why Pierre had attracted so many girls on the beach and he had attracted no one. So he asked Pierre, "How do you manage to attract all the girls and I attract no one?"

Pierre said, "Take a potato and tuck it in your swimming costume, it drives the women wild."

So the Irishman stuffed a potato in his costume and paraded up and down the beach. After a great many hours, however, he still failed to arouse a woman.

So the Irishman went to see Pierre again and said, "I''ve tried it Pierre, it doesn''t work!"

Pierre took one look at the Irishman and said, "You might try putting the potato in the front of your bathing suit!"

A married couple was invited to a Halloween party.
That night, as they were getting ready to go out, the wife said she had developed a migraine headache and had to stay home. She told her husband to go to the party without her. 'Don't let me spoil a good time for you,' she said. After further discussion, the husband put his costume on and went to the party. The wife took some aspirin and went to bed.
After sleeping for a while, she woke feeling much better and decided to go to the party and surprise her husband. As she was getting ready, she thought to herself, 'I wonder what my husband really does when I'm not around.'
She then got into a different costume, so her husband wouldn't recognize her, and went to the party. Getting there, she stood off to the side and watched. There was her husband dancing with one girl after another and getting very physical with them.
She decided to see just how far he would go. She went up to him and started dancing with him, got very more...

A married couple was invited to a Halloween party. That night, as they were getting ready to go out, the wife said she had developed a migraine headache and had to stay home. She told her husband to go to the party without her. "Don't let me spoil a good time for you," she said. After further discussion, the husband put his costume on and went to the party. The wife took some aspirin and went to bed.
After sleeping for a while, she woke feeling much better and decided to go to the party and surprise her husband. As she was getting ready, she thought to herself, "I wonder what my husband really does when I'm not around." She then got into a different costume, so her husband wouldn't recognize her, and went to the party. Getting there, she stood off to the side and watched.
There was her husband dancing with one girl after another and getting very physical with them. She decided to see just how far he would go. She went up to him and started dancing with him, more...

A married couple was invited to a Halloween party. That night, as they were getting ready to go out, the wife said she had developed a migraine headache and had to stay home. She told her husband to go to the party without her. 'Don't let me spoil a good time for you,' she said. After further discussion, the husband put his costume on and went to the party. The wife took some aspirin and went to bed.After sleeping for a while, she woke feeling much better and decided to go to the party and surprise her husband. As she was getting ready, she thought to herself, 'I wonder what my husband really does when I'm not around.' She then got into a different costume, so her husband wouldn't recognize her, and went to the party. Getting there, she stood off to the side and watched. There was her husband dancing with one girl after another and getting very physical with them.She decided to see just how far he would go. She went up to him and started dancing with him, got very close and whispered more...

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success.
Finally they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very
authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow
moose.
The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out
of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the
edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the
moose love call.
Before long their call was answered as a bull came crashing out
of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close
enough, the guy in front said, "OK, lets get out and get him."
After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back
shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do!?"
The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling
grass, but you'd better brace yourself!"

There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party.
Then he had a bright idea.
When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on... just a pair of pants.
"What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host.
"A premature ejaculation." said the man - "I just came in my pants!"

A couple was going to a costume party. The husband was unsure of what costume to wear. His wife was telling him to hurry or they would be late for the party. She was walking down the stairs from the bedroom, completely naked except on her feet were a big old floppy pair of boots.

'Where is your costume?' the husband asked.

'This is it,' replied his wife.

'What the heck kind of costume is that?' asked the husband.

'Why, I am going as Puss and Boots,' explains the wife.' Now hurry and get your costume on.' The husband went upstairs and was back in about two minutes. He also was completely naked except he had a rose vase slid over his penis.' What the heck kind of costume is that?' asked the wife.

'I am a fire alarm,' he replied.

'A fire alarm?' she repeated laughing.

'Yes,' he replied.' In case of fire break the glass, pull twice and I come.'