Costume Jokes / Recent Jokes

You Know You're Addicted to Harry Potter When...
1.) You make a wand and try to use it.
2.) You call your least favorite teacher Snape.
3.) You call your favorite teacher Dumbledore.
4.) You wear robes to school or work.
5.) You make "floo powder", get in the fire, and try to go to your friends' house.
6.) You have read all the books more than four times.
7.) You've been bookstore at midnight to get the latest Harry Potter book before all your friends.
8.) You've worn a Harry Potter costume in public.
9.) You have a crush on one of the Harry Potter characters.
10.) You've gotten at least one of your friends addicted to Harry Potter.
11.) You actually caught the "Wand Order" mistake before you heard/read about it.
12.) You are upset at the New York Times for creating a seperate childrens best seller list because of the Harry Potter books.
13.) Using clues in the book, you have attempted to find the exact more...

Bob and Mary Smith were invited to a swanky masked Halloween Ball. Mary had a terrible headache the night of the party, and told Bob to go without her. Bob, a devoted husband, protested, but Mary argued, saying she was going to take two aspirin and go to bed.
There was no need for her husband to miss out on a good time. So, he took his costume and away he went. After a hours nap, Mary awoke feeling great! It was still early... she decided to go the party. Having kept her costume a secret from her husband, Mary decided to have a little fun. She would see how Bob behaved when she was not with him.
Mary joined the party and soon spotted her husband on the dance floor, dancing with every chick that he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. Mary sidled up to him. She was no slouch in the Babe department. Wearing her most seductive smile, she easily got his attention. He left his latest partner high and dry and devoted his attentions to the new stuff that had more...

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose.

The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, put on their costume and began to give the moose love call.

Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "OK, lets get out and get him."

After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do!?"

The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but if I were you, I'd brace myself!"

A couple was getting ready to go to a Halloween party but the wife had a terrible headache. She told her husband to go anyway. After a short argument he agreed, and she took some aspirin and went to bed.

Later she awoke and felt great, so she decided to go to the party and see what her hubby did when she wasn't around. As soon as she arrived, she noticed him on the dance floor getting very friendly with every hottie in the place, and groping them when he could.

She then cut in and rubbed close to him. When the song ended, he leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Let's go outside." So the two costumed characters snuck off and occupied themselves in one of the parked cars.

Midnight was to be the unveiling of the party-goers, so she slipped out and went home before the clock struck twelve.

When he got home she asked, "How was the party? Did you meet any interesting people?"

He replied,' 'You know me, dear. I more...

A nun gets into a cab and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."

She answers, "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun perform oral sex on me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: First you have to be single and secondly you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!"

The nun says, "O.K., pull into the next alley."

He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts more...

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible
headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted
husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some
aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good time to be
spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain;
and, as it was still early, decided to go to the party. Inasmuch as her
husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some
fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the
dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could and copping a little
feel here and a little kiss there. His wife went up to him and being a
rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and more...

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a fool-proof plan. They got a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume, and began to give the moose love call. Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "Okay, lets get out and get him." After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do!?" The guy in the front says, "Well, I don't know how about you but I'm going to start nibbling grass."