Cough Jokes / Recent Jokes

Overheard in a doctor's waiting room:
"My uncle had a cough like yours and he died. Mind you, he was hiding under his neighbour's bed at the time."

Craig, the clerk in the small drug store, wasn't much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. Joe, the owner, had had enough of his clerk's incompetence and warned Craig that the next sale he missed would be his last.

Just then a man came in, coughing, and asked Craig to find a remedy. Try as he might, Craig simply couldn't find the cough syrup. Remembering Joe's warning, he sold the man a box of laxatives and told him to take it all at once. The customer did as Craig said and left. Joe witnessed the whole transaction and confronted Craig.

"A laxative won't cure a cough, you fool!" Joe shouted.

"Sure it will," Craig said. "Give that guy a few minutes for the stuff to kick in and he'll be afraid to cough."

John was a clerk in a small drugstore, but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. The drugstore owner had had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last.
Just then a man came in coughing and asked John for their best cough syrup. Try as he might, John could not find the cough syrup. Remembering the owner's warning, John sold the man a box of Ex-Lax and instructed him to take the entire box all at once. The customer immediately consumed the entire box in the store and then walked outside and leaned against a lamppost. The drugstore owner had seen the whole thing and came over to ask John what had transpired.
"He wanted something for his cough but I couldn't find the cough syrup. I substituted Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once." "Ex- Lax won't cure a cough!" the owner shouted angrily.
"Sure it will," John said, pointing at the man leaning on the lamppost. more...

One day I go to Toronto and stay in a bigga hotel.

I go down to eat soma breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna two
pissa toast. She bring me only one piss.

I tella her I wanna two piss; she say, go to toilet - I say, you no
understand, I wanna two piss on my plate. She say you betta no piss
on plate, you sonna ma b*tch! I don't even know lady, she calla me
somma ma b*tch.

Then I go to pharmacia with a cougha. The man he give me candy ana
tell me fa cough! - I don't even know man ana he tella me FA COUGH!

Later I got to eat soma lunch at Ricky's Place, the waitress she
bring me spoon, a knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock - She
tell me everybody wanna fock. I tella her, you no understand, I
wanna fock on table. She say you betta not fock on table you sonna
ma b*tch - I not even know lady ana she call me sonna ma b*tch.

So, I go back to my hotel room, an there's no sheet on my more...

The owner of a drugstore arrives at work to find a man leaning heavily against a wall. The owner goes inside and asks his clerk what’s up. "He wanted something for his cough, but I couldn’t find the cough syrup," the clerk explains. "So I gave him a laxative and told him to take it all at once." "Laxatives won’t cure a cough, you idiot," the owner shouts angrily. "Sure it will," the clerk says, pointing at the man leaning on the wall. "Look at him. He’s afraid to cough."

John was a clerk in a small drugstore, but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. The drugstore owner had had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last. Just then a man came in coughing and asked John for their best cough syrup. Try as he might, John could not find the cough syrup. Remembering the owner’s warning, John sold the man a box of Ex-Lax and instructed him to take the entire box all at once. The customer immediately consumed the entire box in the store and then walked outside and leaned against a lamppost. The drugstore owner had seen the whole thing and came over to ask John what had transpired. “He wanted something for his cough but I couldn’t find the cough syrup. I substituted Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once. ” “Ex- Lax won’t cure a cough! ” the owner shouted angrily. “Sure it will, ” John said, pointing at the man leaning on the lamppost. “Look at him. He’s more...

A patient goes to a polish doctor:Patient: I am having a hard time hearing. I cannot even hear myself cough.Doctor: Here is a prescription, take the midicine for 7 days, then return for a checkup.Seven days later....
Patient: Thanks a million Doctor; at least I can hear myself cough now. So what did you do to make me hear better?Doctor: Not much, I gave you medicine that increased your caugh.