Cough Jokes / Recent Jokes

A front end clerk in a pharmacy has just been admonished by the owner for missing too many sales. "I'm sorry" the boss says "But one more missed sale and your fired"

The next customer that comes in has a terrible cough and asks the problem clerk for help. Unable to recall where the cough remedies are, the nervous clerk points to a box of Ex-Lax and says "Here, buy this then go over to our cooler and take all of it with plenty of water".

The customer thanks him and obliges. Finishing his last glass of water, the customer exits the pharmacy. Once outside he stops, takes a few faltering steps, then hugs a telephone pole. The boss, having witnessed the entire scene, approaches the clerk and asks him what he recommended.

"Ex-Lax," says the clerk hesitantly.
"Ex-Lax! " yells the boss. "That won't help a cough!"
"Sure it does," says the clerk. "Look,.. he's afraid to more...

10. Eight hour lunch, two dollar tip.

9. Ask, "Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?"

8. After he describes each special, you shout, "Garbage!"

7. Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, "Minimum wage".

6. Every few seconds, yell, "More waffles, Cuomo!"

5. Insist that before ordering, you be allowed to touch the London broil.

4. Tie tablecloth around neck and say, "You wouldn`t charge Superman for dinner, would you?"

3. Every time you eat or drink, cough really hard.

2. As he walks by to the kitchen, scream, "He`s gonna spit in the chowder!"

1. Three words: eat the check.

10. Eight hour lunch, two dollar tip.
9. Ask, "Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?"
8. After he describes each special, you shout, "Garbage!"
7. Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, "Minimum wage".
6. Every few seconds, yell, "More waffles, Cuomo!"
5. Insist that before ordering, you be allowed to touch the London broil.
4. Tie tablecloth around neck and say, "You wouldn't charge Superman for dinner, would you?"
3. Every time you eat or drink, cough really hard.
2. As he walks by to the kitchen, scream, "He's gonna spit in the chowder!"
1. Three words: eat the check.

John was a clerk in a small drugstore but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted.
Bob, the owner, had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last.
Just then a man came in coughing and he ask John for their best cough syrup. Try as he might John could not find the cough syrup. Remembering Bob's warning he sold the man a box of Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once.
The customer did as John said and then walked outside and leaned against a lamp post.
Bob had seen the whole thing and came over to ask John what had transpired.
"He wanted something for his cough but I couldn't find the cough syrup. I substituted Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once" John explained.
"Ex-Lax won't cure a cough!" Bob shouted angrily.
"Sure it will" John said, pointing at the man leaning on the lamp post.
"Just look at him. He's afraid to cough!"

John was a clerk in a small drugstore but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted.Bob, the owner, had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last.Just then a man came in coughing and he ask John for their best cough syrup. Try as he might John could not find the cough syrup. Remembering Bob's warning he sold the man a box of Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once.The customer did as John said and then walked outside and leaned against a lamp post.Bob had seen the whole thing and came over to ask John what had transpired."He wanted something for his cough but I couldn't find the cough syrup. I substituted Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once" John explained."Ex-Lax won't cure a cough!" Bob shouted angrily."Sure it will" John said, pointing at the man leaning on the lamp post."Just look at him. He's afraid to cough!"

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative." The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!" The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

A Patient Suffering From Cough Went To A Doctor For Treatment. Doctor: Do You Smoke? Patient: Yes. Doctor: How Much? Patient: About Eight Cigarettes A Day. Doctor: Can You Give Up Smoking? Patient: No. Doctor: Well Then, Smoke A Cigarette Only After A Meal. Two Months Later, The Patient Visited The Doctor Again. He Had Put On A Lot Of Weight By Then. Doctor: You Look Quite Healthy. What About Your Cough? Patient: It Has Become Worse. How Can Eight Meals A Day Cure A Cough?