Counter Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy's car breaks down in the middle of town, and he looks for a hotel to stay in while he waits for his car to be fixed. He finds a very small hotel and walks in.He asks the man at the counter, "Do you have any rooms available?"The man at the counter says, "Yeah, but don't stick your dick in the 3 holes.""OK." The guy agrees and walks to his room. A couple of days go by and his car is still in the shop. He gets curious and sticks his dick in the first hole. He says,"Ahh, that feels good!" Then he sticks his dick in the second hole,"Ahh, that feels even better!" Then he sticks his dick in the third hole,"OUCH! My dick!!"He quickly pulled his dick out and it was all bloody. He was very confused, but he went to sleep. The next day he went to the counter to see what was in the holes, but before he could ask anything the man at the counter said, "You stuck your dick in the three holes didn't you?"He said, "Yeah, more...

A middle aged man, about 5 foot 8 inches tall, walks into a Walmartand asks where the pharmacy counter is. He is directed to it.When he reaches it, he asks to see the pharmacist.The pharmacist comes and the man, looking around furtively, asks quietly, "Do you sell Viagra here?"The pharmacist answers firmly, "Yes, sir. We certainly do."The man then asks, "Do you think I could get it over the counter?"The pharmacist thinks for a moment and then says, "Perhaps, if you took five or six pills at once you might."

A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal- Mart "associate" standing there with dark shades on. She says, "Excuse me sir...can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

He says, "Ma'am I'm blind but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line...It's a good all around rod and reel and it's $20.00". She says, "That's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it."

He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman breaks wind big-time. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes more...

Husband and wife are doing the spring house cleaning. Wife asks husband to hang some new curtain rods, but he can't do it without toggle bolts.
He sends her to the hardware store where she asks the man behind the counter for two toggle bolts. He puts them on the counter, then asks, "You wanna screw for these?"
"No," she replies, "but I'll blow you for the clock radio on the shelf."

A duck walks into a convenience store. He asks the man at the counter, "You got any grapes?"
Guy at the counter says, "No, we don't have any grapes."
Duck says "okay." and he leaves.
The next day the duck comes back in and says "You got any grapes?"
The man once again replies, "No! We do not have any grapes."
The duck says "Okay." and he leaves.
The third day the duck walks in again and asks, "You got any grapes?"
The man is very annoyed and says, "No! For the last time, we do NOT have any grapes. If you come in here again and ask for grapes, I'm gonna nail your bill to the floor!"
The duck replies "Okay," and leaves.
The fourth day the duck returns once again and asks, "You got any nails?"
The man at the counter says "No."
The duck says, "Well then, you got any grapes?"

A duck walks into a convenience store. He asks the man at the counter, "You got any grapes?"Guy at the counter says, "No, we don't have any grapes."Duck says "okay." and he leaves.The next day the duck comes back in and says "You got any grapes?"The man once again replies, "No! We do not have any grapes."The duck says "Okay." and he leaves.The third day the duck walks in again and asks, "You got any grapes?"The man is very annoyed and says, "No! For the last time, we do NOT have any grapes. If you come in here again and ask for grapes, I'm gonna nail your bill to the floor!"The duck replies "Okay," and leaves.The fourth day the duck returns once again and asks, "You got any nails?"The man at the counter says "No."The duck says, "Well then, you got any grapes?"

Those days in Sri Lanka everybody must have licence for their shot guns. U rawana messed up every thing and he forgot to get licence. On the last day he rushed to govt kachcheri that the place where licence are issued and talked to the counter clerk and said " I want to get licence for my gun, can I do that now?" But the counter was dull of hearing " licence for what???" U rawana said " gun... gun... You dont know gun? G for Gesus ( Jesus)U for urope (Europe) N for numonia (Pneumonia)??????????