Counter Jokes / Recent Jokes

He went to the post office to pick up a job application. He got in line at about 2:50 PM. By the time he got to the counter it was 3:05. He asked the clerk for a job application. She told him the employment office was only open from 1:00 to 3:00.
He told her he had been in line since before 3:00 and he only wanted to pick up an application. She repeated through gritted teeth that the employment office was only open from 1:00 to 3:00.
He told her, "Listen all I want is an application. I don't care if you hire me or not. I'd like an application and by law you have to give one to me."
She glared at him, went in the back room, came back with the application and threw it across the counter at him. As he picked it up and was leaving, he said to her, "No wonder you guys shoot each other."

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town.
They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are. .. very slowly?"
The cashier leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrr, gerrrrr, Kiiinnnggg."

While traveling cross country, a couple decided to stop for a cup of coffee in a local diner somewhere in Texas. While they were sitting at a booth near the counter sipping their coffee, a local cowboy stumbled in and headed for the closest stool at the counter. As he lifted his leg over the stool, he cut one of the loudest farts ever heard by a human. The tourist jumped up and screamed, "Sir, how dare you fart before my wife!"
The cowboy stopped, tipped his hat politely and said, "Beggin' yer pardon, ma'am... I didn't know we was a takin' turns."

A retired gentlman went into the social security office to apply for social security After waiting in line a long time he got to the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his drivers license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "Will I have to go home and come back now?"he asks.
The woman says,"unbutton your shirt"
So he opens his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair. she says"that silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," and she processed his social security application.
When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office. she said,"you should have dropped your pants, you might have qualified for disabilty too."

In a small Southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.
At a "Quick Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You damn Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said
"See, it says right here,' The three wise man came from afar.'"

A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"
The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.
The man repeats himself "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"
Again, the clerk doesn't answer him.
The guy asks several more times "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"
And the clerk just seems to ignore him. Finally, the guy storms off in anger. The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk, "Why wouldn't you answer that guy's question?"
The clerk answers, "D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat up?!!"

There was once a hillbilly who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat back and thought about it.
Suddenly he thought - "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am a hillbilly and make fun of me."
He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini."
Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you a hillbilly?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you a hillbilly or not?"
This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?"
The shopkeeper replied, "This is a hardware more...