Courthouse Jokes

Here are some people who should not be allowed to venture into society:
Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.
A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head.
A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.
The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.
A more...

A judge was annoyed to find that his car wouldn't start. He called a taxi, and soon one arrived at his house.Climbing in, he told the driver to take him to the halls of justice. "Where are they," asked the driver."You mean to say that you don't know where the courthouse is?" asked the incredulous judge."The courthouse? Of course I know where that is." replied the driver. "But I thought you said you wanted to go to the 'halls of justice.'"

It was two weeks past elections, when all through Palm Beach. Only lawyers were stirring, the blood sucking leech. The ballots were held to the light with great care, in hopes that a dot or a dimpled be there.

The voters were nestled all snug in their beds, while nightmares of pregnant chads danced in their heads. And Bush back in Austin, and Gore in DC, had just rattled the courts over votes absentee.

When out on the beach there arose such a clatter, the counters stopped counting to see whats the matter. Away to the shore lawyers flew like a flash, the out of state protesters started to clash.

When what to our wondering eyes was bestowed, but Air Force One and eight interns in tow. What came off the plane gave us all quite a chill, we knew in a moment twas our buddy Bill.

More buxom than hookers, his courses they came, and he whistled and shouted and called them by name. Now Bambi, Now Suzie! Now Candy and Tasha! On Cassie! On Dana! On more...

when all through Palm Beach.
Only lawyers were stirring, the blood sucking leech.
The ballots were held to the light with great care,
In hopes that a dot or a dimple'd be there.
The voters were nestled all snug in their beds,
while nightmares of hanging chads danced in their heads.
And Bush back in Austin, and Gore in DC,
Had just rattled the courts over votes absentee.
When out on the beach there arose such a clatter,
The counters stopped counting to see what's the matter.
Away to the shore lawyers flew like a flash,
The out of state protesters started to clash.
When what to our wondering eyes was bestowed,
But Air Force One and eight interns in tow.
What came off the plane gave us all quite a chill,
We knew in a moment ‘twas our buddy Bill.
More buxom than hookers, his courses they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name.
Now Bambi, Now Suzie! Now Candy and Tasha!
On Cassie! On Dana! On more...

A judge was annoyed to find that his car wouldn't start. He called a taxi, and soon one arrived at his house. Climbing in, he told the driver to take him to the halls of justice. "Where are they," asked the driver." You mean to say that you don't know where the courthouse is?" asked the incredulous judge." The courthouse? Of course I know where that is." replied the driver. "But I thought you said you wanted to go to the' halls of justice.'"