Cowboy Jokes / Recent Jokes
Prior to her trip to Texas, Buffy (a New Yorker) confided to her sorority sisters she had three goals for her trip to the Lone Star State. She wanted to taste some real Texas Barbeque, take in a bona fide rodeo and have sex with a real cowboy. Upon her return, her sorority sisters were curious as to how she fared.
"Let me tell you, they have a tree down there called a Mesquite and when they slow cook that brisket over that Mesquite, it's oh so good. The taste is unbelievable!"
And, I went to a real rodeo... Talk about athletes! Those guys wrestle full-grown bulls! They ride horses at a full gallop then jump off the horses and grab the bulls by the horns and throw them to the ground! It is just incredible!"
They then asked, "Well tell us, did you have sex with a real cowboy?"
"Are you kidding? Once I saw the outline of the condom they carry in the back pocket of their jeans, I changed my mind!"
Two cowboys are riding along a trail in the mountains when they suddenly hear tom toms beating very close to them.' Oh! That doesn't sound good,' one says to the other. As soon as the words were spoken, an Indian jumps out from behind a tree and said,' Yeah, our regular drummer is out sick.'
There where three guys a cowboy a russian and a chinese. Well the chinese was selling cokes then the russian guy comes up and buys one and drinks half of his the chinese guy says " Me chinese me play joke me go pee-pee in your coke" the russian guy goes "yea cool" the cow boy comes up and buys one and drinks half of it. the chinese guy says "me chinese me play joke me go pee-pee in your coke" so the cowboy says " me cowboy me run fast me shoot bullet up your ASS!!!" the chinese guy died from surgery up his ass
It was Saturday morning and Jake, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage. Jake asks her, "What are you up to?" Alice smiles, "I'm going hunting with you!" Jake, though he has many reservations, reluctantly decides to take her along. They arrive at the hunting site. Jake sets his wife safely up in the tree stand and tells her: "If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and I'll come running back as soon as I hear the shot." Jake walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Alice couldn't bag an elephant - much less a deer. But not 10 minutes pass when he is startled as he hears an array of gunshots. Quickly, Jake starts running back. As Jake gets closer to her stand, he hears Alice screaming, "Get away from my deer!" Confused, Jake races faster towards his screaming wife. more...
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on newcomers. When he finished, he found his horse had been stolen.
He comes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling. "Who stole my horse?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness.
No one answered.
"I'm gonna have another beer and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I'm finished, I'm gonna do what I dun back in Texas and I don't want to have to do what I dun back in Texas!"
Some of the locals shifted restlessly.
He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled up and started to ride out of town.
The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, what happened in Texas?"
The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home!"
A Cowboy was going deer hunting.. His blonde wife said she was going with him.. That they never did anything together.. So, they went.. He put her in a stand by herself.. Later in the morning he heard her shoot.. He went over to her stand and she was pointing her rifle at a guy with a cowboy hat on.. The guy was telling her, Ma'mm, you can have the deer you shot.. I just want to take my saddle off of him!
One late Saturday afternoon, a local west Texas cowboy had ridden his horse into the nearby town of Midland and stopped at the Bar. While seated at the bar having a beer, in walked an old Indian and a devout Muslim, dressed with turban and all. Both persons went to the bar and took a stool on either side of the Cowboy. Eventually, their conversation drifted around to their varying cultures, history and background. The native American stated, “Once my people were many, but now we are few. ” The Muslim then chimed in and said, “Once my people were few, but now we are many. ” The cowboy glanced at the Indian a moment, then he looked directly at the Muslim and said with a sly grin, “That’s cause we ain’t played cowboys and Muslims yet. ”