Cowboy Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Texan was having a drink at a bar with an old friend when he noticed a attractive and chesty young lady seated at the bar eating a hamburger.

As he held eye contact with her, she swallowed a bite and it must have gone down the wrong pipe for she began choking.

She was turning blue and obviously in serious respiratory distress.

The Texan said to his friend,' That there gal is having a bad time!'

The other agreed and said,' Think we should go help?'

'You bet,' and with that he ran over and said,' Can you breathe????' She shook her head no. He said,' Can you speak??' She again shook her head no. With that, he pulled up her skirt and licked her on the butt.

So shocked was the young woman that she coughed up the obstruction and began to breathe, with great relief.

Smiling to his friend, the Texan said,' Funny how that Hind Lick maneuver always works'

A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, "You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a day for three days. On sundown of third day, you die. What is first wish?"
The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse." The Indians get his horse. The cowboy grabs the horse's ear and whispers something, then slaps the horse on the back. The horse takes off. Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked blonde. She jumps off the horse and goes into the teepee with the cowboy. The Indians look at each other, figuring, "Typical white man - can only think of one thing."
The second day, the chief says, "What your wish today?" The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse again." The Indians bring him his horse. The cowboy leans over to the horse and whispers something in the horse's ear, then slaps it on the back. Two hours later, the horse comes back more...

One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world and she was an innocent bride withno experience. On the first night of their honeymoon the couple washed upand started to get ready for bed. When they get into bed, they start exploring each other's bodies. Things are going fine until the bride discovers herhusband's penis. "Oh my", she says, "What is that?""Well, darlin", the cowboy says, "That's ma rope". She slides her hands further down and gasps."Oh my goodness. What's them?" she asks."Honey, them's my knots", he answers. Finally, the couple begin to make love. After several minutes, the bride says, "Stop honey. Wait a minute". Her husband, panting a little, asks, "What's the matter honey? Am I hurting you?""No", the bride replies. "Just undo them damn knots. I need more rope!"

The religious cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
Three weeks later a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the cow. "Your name is written inside the cover."

This Chinese guy and cowboy walk into a bar, they both order coke. The cowboy drinks some of his and says "this coke tastes like piss! ". Then the Chinese guy says "me Chinese, me play joke, me go pee pee in your coke". then the cowboy says "me cowboy, me draw fast, me shoot bullet up your ass!!!"

A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy named "Clint", and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to Clint, "You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a day for three days. On sundown of third day, you die. What is first wish?" Clint says, "I want to see my horse." The Indians get his horse. Clint grabs the horse's ear and whispers something, then slaps the horse on the ass. The horse takes off. Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked blonde. She jumps off the horse and goes into the teepee with Clint. The Indians look at each other, figuring, "Typical white man - can only think of one thing." The second day, the chief says, "What your wish today?" Clint says, "I want to see my horse again." The Indians bring him his horse. Clint leans over to the horse and whispers something in the horse's ear, then slaps it on the ass. Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked more...

Why did the cowboys car stop? It had Injun (engine) trouble.