Create Jokes / Recent Jokes
1. If a small child is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down its throat and hey presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Weight watchers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at a chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying the thing in the first place, you fat barstools.
4. Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The morning after, you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.
5. Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it, before jumping in.
6. Don't buy expensive' ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip handful of frozen peas more...
Q. What do you call a zit on a dumb blonde's ass?
A. A brain tumor.
Q. What do you get when you turn 3 dum blondes upside-down?
A. Two brunettes.
Q. What's the Blonde's cheer?
A. " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B. L. O. N.... ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."
Q. Why did the dumb blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A. To see what was on the other side.
Q. Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?
A. Because she gave blow-jobs literally.
Q. Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A. She realized she gave her last blowjob.
Q. Why do blondes give such good blowjobs?
A. Because that's what they train for all their lives.
Q. Why did the dumb blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A. So her male would get delivered to the right box.
Q. Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A. From crawling across the street when the sign said more...
Q: Why did God create man before woman? A: He didn't want any advice.
Q: Why did God create man before woman? A: He didnt want any advice.
Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment always circle the stain in permanent pen so that when you remove the garment from the washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check that it has gone.
High blood pressure sufferers. Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Olympic athletes. Conceal the fact that you have taken performance enhancing drugs by simply running a little slower and letting someone else win.
Heavy smokers. Don't throw away those filters from the end of your cigarettes. Save them up and within a few years you'll have enough to insulate your loft.
Motorists. Enjoy the freedom of cycling by removing your windscreen, sticking half a melon skin on you head, then jumping red lights and driving the wrong way up one way streets.
Create instant designer stubble by sucking a magnet and dipping your chin in a bowl of iron more...
lolipoplolipop go to habbo hotel now meet new friends and talk online with them create a parson and create your rooms and then get coins and buy furni its awsome trust me i have gone there every day since 2003 so i know. go hurry my habbo name is nellylover05 so send me a friend request or two