Criminal Jokes / Recent Jokes
A stupid bank robber rushed into a bank, pointed two fingers at the clerk and said, "This is a muck up!" "Don't you mean a stick up?" asked the girl. "No," said the robber, "it's a muckup. I've forgotten my gun."
A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night. "There's a burglar downstairs eating the cake that I made this morning." "Who shall I call," her husband asked, "police or ambulance?"
Fred: We had a burglary last night, and they took everything except the soap and towels. Harry: The dirty crooks.
Why did the burglar take a shower? He wanted to make a clean getaway
While walking home one night, Tom was suddenly jumped by a thief. The two of them began to wrestle and roll around on the ground.
Although Tom put up a tremendous fight, the thief managed to get the best of him and pinned him to the ground.
After going through Tom's pockets and searching him, all the thief found was 25 cents.
Surprised at this, the thief asked Tom why he bothered to fight so hard for a mere 25 cents.
"Was that all you wanted?" Tom asked. "I thought you were after the five hundred dollars I have hidden in my shoe!"
What did the burglar say to the watchmaker as he tied him up? Sorry to take so much of your valuable time.