Crying Jokes / Recent Jokes

"Why are you crying Fred?" asked the teacher. "Cos my parrot died last night. I washed it in Wisk.. . " "Fred," said the teacher. "You must have known that Wisks bad for parrots.""Oh it wasnt the Wisk that killed it, sir. It was the tumble drier."

What did the mummy snake say to the crying baby snake? Stop crying and viper your nose.

there was this man that enterd a bar and ended up to a crying man.he said to the man"what is wrong?"the crying man replied"my doctor told me that im really sick, and he give me these pills."he also said, that i have to take these pills for the rest of my life.and the man said"then why are you crying?"because he only give me six pills"

A ninety year old man is sitting on a park bench crying. The police drive by and see him. They stop to see what is wrong.
Police: "What's wrong?"
Elderly Man: "I'm married to a twenty year old woman." (Continues to cry)
Police: "Sir, that's nothing to cry about, you should be happy."
Elderly man: "You don't understand... (tears continue to flow)... she wants to have sex every morning and sex every evening." (Crying becomes more intense).
Police: "That's every man's dream... so why are you crying?"
Elderly man: (Crying becomes uncontrollable) "I can't find my way home!!!"

There are three men in an airplane. They have two bannanas and a bomb. They drop the first bannana in Kansas, and then went down to see where it landed. When they went down they saw a guy crying. They asked,"Why are you crying?" He said," A bannana landed on my head!"
They went back into the air and dropped another bannana in Florida. The same thing happened there.
They finnaly dropped the bomb in Nebraska. The bomb landed and they went down to see what it hit. When they went down they saw a guy laughing. They asked him,"Why are you laughing?" He said,"I farted and my house blew up!"

there were three guys in an airplane. One was an army guy, the other was a priest, and the other one was a weight lifter. The plane was falling, so the pilot asked them each to throw something off. the army guy threw off a grenade, the priest threw off a bible, and the weight lifter threw off a weight. The plane was still falling so they all jumped off. The three of them were walking when they saw an old lady crying. They asked her why she was crying and she said she got hit in the head with a weight. they all left feeling sorry. Then they saw a man crying. they asked him why he was crying and he said he got hit in the head with a bible. this time they felt a little worried, but nonetheless they kept walking. this time they saw a little kid laughing really hard. they asked him why he was laughing, and he said he farted and his house blew up.

A ninety-four-year-old man is sitting on a park bench, sobbing, when a young man walks by and asks him what's wrong. Through his tears the old man answers, "I'm in love with a twenty-two-year-old woman."
"What's wrong with that?" asks the young man.
Between his sobs and sniffles, he answers, "You don't understand. Every morning before she goes to work, we make love. At lunch time she comes home and we make love again, and then she makes my favorite meal. In the afternoon when she gets a break, she rushes home and gives me oral sex, the best an old man could want. And then at supper time, and all night long, we make love." He breaks down, no longer able to speak. The young man puts his arm around him. "I don't understand. It sounds like you have the perfect relationship. Why are you crying?"
The senile old man answers, again through his tears, "I forgot where I live."