Curb Jokes

Two little boys were looking for a way to cool off on a hot summer day.
Their dad wouldn't let them play in the sprinkler because he was mowing the lawn, so the boys set out to find a way to get wet and cool without getting into trouble.
They sat on the curb brainstorming the solution, when suddenly one of them jumped up and declared, "I know! Let's get baptized!"
Well, both boys had seen enough to know that you can get wet at a baptism, so they trotted on down to the church on the corner and told the pastor they wanted to get baptized.
The irritated pastor finally relented after about 10 minutes of begging, and he finally dragged the boys to the men's room and dunked them both head first into the toilet, then sent them on their way.
The boys sat on the curb, slightly disappointed with the whole adventure, when one of them asked the other, "Hey, what religion are we now?"
"I don't know," replied the other. "If we were more...

A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No," says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"

The Boy Who Wanted to Be a Truck Driver
One day, a little boy goes into the candy shop and orders five pounds of "m-n-m's",.
The lady at the counter asked him "Don't you mean five bags?"
He said "No, i want five pounds."
She was reluctant, but measured them out, put them in a bag and handed them to the little boy. He paid for them, and went outside and sat on the curb.
He ate a few m-n-m's, and a cat walks by.
He picks up the cat and takes a big bite out of it.
He moves a little further down the curb, and does it all over again.
After the little boy did this about 15-20 times, the lady in the candy store starts to wonder.
She goes outside and asks the little boy "What in the hell are you doing?"
The little boy gives her this answer "I am learning how to be a truck driver like my daddy. I'm popping pills, eating pussy, and moving' down the line."

"Pull over the curb," said the policeman. "You don`t have a taillight."
The motorist stepped out, looked in back of the car, and stood quivering and speechless. "Oh, it`s not that bad," said the policeman. The man mumbled, "It`s not the taillight I am worried about. Where are my wife and trailer?"

A man with a broken down car was standing on the curb. He would stand on top of the curb then step down and say, "twenty-one". A blonde saw him doing it and decided to try it as well. She stepped down, stepped up, stepped down, and stepped up again. About the third time she did it, a big semi hit her, and she went flying. The man stepped down and stepped up another time and said, "twenty-two".