Curb Jokes / Recent Jokes

"Pull over the curb," said the policeman. "You don`t have a taillight."
The motorist stepped out, looked in back of the car, and stood quivering and speechless. "Oh, it`s not that bad," said the policeman. The man mumbled, "It`s not the taillight I am worried about. Where are my wife and trailer?"

Your Momma is so stupid she tried to commit suicide by jumping off a curb!

One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for potential violators of the
driving-under-the-influence law. At closing time, the officer notices a patron stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on six different cars before finally finding his own. The fellow then opens his car door and proceeds to sit in the front seat.
By now, everyone else has left the bar and driven off.
After some trouble, the fellow starts the engine and begins to pull away. The police officer stops the driver in his tracks, reads him his rights and administers a Breathalyzer test. Amazingly, though, the results show a reading of 0. 00. The puzzled officer demands to know how this could be. “I don’t get it. You stumbled out of the bar, tripped on the curb and tried your keys on six different cars before finally found your own. How can it be that you blow 0. 00? ”
Replies the driver, “Fooled you, sir… I’m just the designated decoy. ”

A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?""No," says the cop."What about all these other cars?""They didnt ask!"

The Boy Who Wanted to Be a Truck Driver
One day, a little boy goes into the candy shop and orders five pounds of "m-n-m's",.
The lady at the counter asked him "Don't you mean five bags?"
He said "No, i want five pounds."
She was reluctant, but measured them out, put them in a bag and handed them to the little boy. He paid for them, and went outside and sat on the curb.
He ate a few m-n-m's, and a cat walks by.
He picks up the cat and takes a big bite out of it.
He moves a little further down the curb, and does it all over again.
After the little boy did this about 15-20 times, the lady in the candy store starts to wonder.
She goes outside and asks the little boy "What in the hell are you doing?"
The little boy gives her this answer "I am learning how to be a truck driver like my daddy. I'm popping pills, eating pussy, and moving' down the line."