Cursor Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary, System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor, Longing for the warmth of bedsheets, still I sat there, doing spreadsheets. Having reached the bottom line, I took a floppy from the drawer. Typing with a steady hand, I then invoked the SAVE command And waited for the disk to store, only this and nothing more.
Deep into the monitor peering, long I sat there wond'ring, fearing, Doubting, while the disk kept churning, turning yet to churn some more. "Save!" I said, "You cursed mother! Save my data from before!" One thing did the phosphors answer, only this and nothing more, Just, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
Was this some occult illusion? Some maniacal intrusion? These were choices undesired, ones I'd never faced before. Carefully, I weighed the choices as the disk made impish noises. The cursor flashed, insistent, waiting, baiting me to type some more. Clearly I must press a key, more...

Hello. Tech Support; may I help you? "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.""What sort of trouble?" "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.""Went away?" "They disappeared.""Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing.""Nothing?" "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.""Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?"[Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.] "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?"[Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.] "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."[Ah-at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware problem. I wonder if s/he's kicked out his/her monitor's power plug? ]"Does your monitor more...

Actual dialog of a former Customer Support employee:

Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
Customer: "Yes, well, I`m having trouble with WordPerfect."
Support: "What sort of trouble?"
Customer: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.",
Support: "Went away?"
Customer:"They disappeared."
Support: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Customer: "Nothing."
Support: "Nothing?"
Customer: "It`s blank; it won`t accept anything when I type."
Support: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
Customer: "How do I tell?"
Support: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
Customer: "What`s a sea-prompt?"
Support: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
Customer: "There more...

Actual dialogue of a former Wordperfect Customer Support Employee (CSE)Customer Support Employee (CSE): May I help you? Customer: Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.CSE: What sort of trouble?Customer: Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.CSE: Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?Customer: Nothing.CSE: Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?Customer: How do I tell?CSE: Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?Customer: What's a sea-prompt?CSE: Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?Customer: There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.CSE: Does your monitor have a power indicator?Customer: What's a monitor?CSE: It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?Customer: I don't know.CSE: Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?Customer: Yes, I think so.CSE: more...

Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary, System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor, Longing for the warmth of bedsheets, still I sat there, doing spreadsheets. Having reached the bottom line, I took a floppy from the drawer. Typing with a steady hand, I then invoked the SAVE command And waited for the disk to store, only this and nothing more.
Deep into the monitor peering, long I sat there wond'ring, fearing, Doubting, while the disk kept churning, turning yet to churn some more. "Save!" I said, "You cursed mother! Save my data from before!" One thing did the phosphors answer, only this and nothing more, Just, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
Was this some occult illusion? Some maniacal intrusion? These were choices undesired, ones I'd never faced before. Carefully, I weighed the choices as the disk made impish noises. The cursor flashed, insistent, waiting, baiting me to type some more. Clearly I must press a key, more...

Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary, System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor, Longing for the warmth of bedsheets, still I sat there, doing spreadsheets. Having reached the bottom line, I took a floppy from the drawer. Typing with a steady hand, I then invoked the SAVE command And waited for the disk to store, only this and nothing more.Deep into the monitor peering, long I sat there wond'ring, fearing, Doubting, while the disk kept churning, turning yet to churn some more. "Save!" I said, "You cursed mother! Save my data from before!" One thing did the phosphors answer, only this and nothing more, Just, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"Was this some occult illusion? Some maniacal intrusion? These were choices undesired, ones I'd never faced before. Carefully, I weighed the choices as the disk made impish noises. The cursor flashed, insistent, waiting, baiting me to type some more. Clearly I must press a key, choosing one more...

Tech: “Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you? ”

Customer: “Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect. ”

Tech: “What sort of trouble? ”

Customer: “Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away. ”

Tech: “Went away? ”

Customer: “They disappeared. ”

Tech: “Hmm. So what does your screen look like now? ”

Customer: “Nothing. ”

Tech: “Nothing? ”

Customer: “It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type. ”

Tech: “Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out? ”

Customer: “How do I tell? ”

Tech: “Can you see the “C” prompt on the screen? ”

Customer: “What’s a sea-prompt? ”

Tech: “Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen? ”

Customer: “There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I more...