Plug Jokes

There was a man watching T.V. & he saw 3 commercials The first one said Yes! Yes! Yes! The second one said Forks & Knives! Forks & Knives! And the third one said Plug it in, Plug it in. Next the cops came and asked him if he had seen a girl that had been killed and if he killed her and, he said Yes! Yes! Yes! The cops asked him what he had killed her with and he said forks and knives! Forks and Knives! And the cops said that's it your'e getting the electric chair. And the guy said plug it in, plug it in.

"Hello. Tech Support; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
[Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.]
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
[Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.]
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
[Ah-at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware more...

P. Harris

Problem Probable Cause Remedy
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Does not work Power plug in hand Place plug in socket
and turn socket on


Not turned on Turned off Turn on.

Still does not work Bought it from Tandy Take it back and get
a real stereo.


Lights up but no No speakers Buy some speakers.
sound


Still no sound Volume set to zero Set volume to ten.


Too much sound Volume set to ten Set volume to three.


Raucous hiss Radio turned on and Turn radio off, place
no aerial record on deck, place
stylus on record.


Sounds too slow HMV 78 written on record Discard record, replace
with `Hells Bells' by
ACDC set volume to ten,
place stylus on record.


Can't hear anything Gone deaf turn stereo off and
or learn to say `eh?'


Don't more...

There was a mexican that had just came to America. He did not know any english what so ever. Well the very first night he was in the USA he went to an opera. The lady was singing "me, me, me, me". The mexican remebered that. Then he went to a restraunt and rembered the waiter asking him if he wanted some forks and knives. Then when he went home he seen the glade comercial and remembers it saying "plug it in, plug it in". The next day a cop came to his door and told him that his neighbor had been stabbed to death. The cop asked if he knew he killed him and he said "me, me, me, me". The cop said" well what did you kill him with?" The mexican said "forks and knives, forks and knives". The cop took him to jail and sentenced him to the death penalty. When the mexican was sitting in the electric chair the man doing the procedure asked him if he had any last words. The mexican thought for a little bit and said "plug it in, plug it more...

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her,
"Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle? If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer.