Curtains Jokes / Recent Jokes
Morning. Uh, just to help you cope until you wake up:
Feet. They are the frayed bits at the end of your legs. They go on the floor.
Hands. Also frayed, but somewhat different. Let's see, how do we sort this one? I know; stand up. Can you touch the floor with your nose without falling? Right, in that case your hands and feet are mixed up. Pick your hands up _after_ you've put your feet on the floor. Glad we've got that sorted. Now your hands will come in handy (just my little pun) for all sorts of things. Lifting your nightie so you don't pee on the hem. Holding the kettle under the tap while you try to remember what you are doing. Closing the curtains before the sunlight burns out your retinas. The main use for hands is to fend off any walls, doors, hatstands, or other predators which will attack without notice.
Ears. Best left off until you are fully awake. Nothing will sound right, and you'll spend far too much time worrying about the ominous creak which is in fact a more...
Santa singh and banta singh are the best of friends.santa is a bachelor while banta is married to a sexy woman.she has a voracious appetite for sex and banta cannot live upto her expectations.he simply gets tired.so soon banta's wife gets attracted to santa who is a strong, energetic, handsome sardar.soon they are in love.one day they decide to go to the next level...
Banta has a 5 yr. Old son.one fine morning banta's wife wakes him up at 5 in the morning and gives him a cold bath in the middle of the winter season.the poor child gets a slight fever by midday.grabbing this chance, banta's wife asks banta to take the child to the hospital.as soon as banta has left she calls over santa for some fun.
By half an hour they are both making wild love when suddenly they hear banta's car horn.scared santa hides behind the curtains.enter banta.he sees his wife lying on the bed.he asks her why she is sleeping when she says that she is feeling cold. He checks her temp...on the forehead more...
Christopher asked Sally the blonde girl why are you buying curtains??? Sally replied they are for my computer.Then Christopher asked why are you buying them for your computer??? SAally replied because my computer is windows xp so i am getting xp curtains for it!!!
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains.
She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen. ”
The surprised salesman replies, “But, madam, computers do not have curtains. ”
And the blonde said, “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows! ”
Santa asked a salesman to give him pink curtains for his computer. Salesman: why do you need curtains for your computer? Santa: because i have windows on my computer.
Having been married ten years and still living in an apartment, the wife would often complain about anything, as she was tired of saving every penny to buy a "dream home."
Trying to placate her, the husband found a new apartment, within their budget. However, after the first week, she began complaining again.
"Joel," she said, "I don't like this place at all. There are no curtains in the bathroom. The neighbors can see me every time I take a bath."
"Don't worry." replied her husband. "If the neighbors do see you, they'll buy curtains."
Santa enters a store that sell curtains.
He tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."
The salesman assured him that they had a large selection of pink curtains. He showed him several patterns, but Santa seemed to be having a hard time choosing.
Finally, he selects a lovely pink floral print.
The salesman asked what size curtains he needed.
Santa replies, "Fifteen inches."
"Fifteen inches?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room are they for?"
Santa tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for his computer monitor.
The surprised salesman replies, "But, sir, computers do not have curtains!"
Santa says, "Hellllooooooooo........ I've got Windows!"