Curve Jokes / Recent Jokes
RECOUNT DEMANDED BY METSNEW YORK (AP) --The New York Mets announced today that they are going to court to get an additional inning added to the end of Game 5 of the World Series. The batting, pitching, and bench coaches for the Mets held a press conference earlier today. They were joined by members of the Major League Players Union. "We meant to hit those pitches from the Yankee pitchers," said the Mets batting coach. "We were confused by the irregularities of the pitches we received and believe we have been denied our right to hit." One claim specifically noted that a small percentage of the Mets batters had intended to swing at fast balls, but actually swung at curve balls. It was clear that these batters never intended to swing at curve balls, though a much higher percentage were not confused by the pitches. Reporters at the press conference pointed out that the Mets had extensively reviewed film of the Yankees pitchers prior to the World Series and had in fact more...
A man stood on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night in the middle of a storm. The night was rolling and no cars passed. The storm was so strong, he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.
Suddenly he saw a car come towards him and stop. The guy, without thinking about it, got in the car and closed the door to realize that nobody was behind the wheel. The car started slowly. The guy looked at the road and saw a curve coming his way. Scared, he started praying, and begged for his life. He hadn't come out of shock, when just before he hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and moved the wheel. The guy, paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appeared every time before a curve.
The guy gathered strength, got out of the car and ran to the nearest town. Wet and in shock, he ran into a cantina and asked for two shots of tequila, and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he went through. A silence enveloped everybody when they more...
This story happened about a month ago in a little town in Louisiana, and sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale.
This guy is on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night in the middle of a storm. The night passes slowly and no cars come by. The storm is so strong he can see hardly a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he sees a car slowly looming, ghostlike, out of the gloom. It slowly creeps toward him and stops. Reflexively, the guy gets into the car and closes the door, then realizes that there is nobody behind the wheel. The car slowly starts moving again.
The guy is terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running. The guy sees that the car is slowly approaching a sharp curve. The guy starts to pray, begging for his life, sure the ghost car will go off the road
and he will plunge to his death when, just before the curve, a hand appears thru the window and turns the steering wheel, guiding the car safely
around the bend.
Paralyzed with terror, more...
Her learning curve is fractal. Her lint trap is full. Her lists are unlinked. Her memory is truly random-access. Her mental function can be graphed with a single dot. Her mere presence causes parity errors, power fails, and head crashes. Her mind is not grounded to a logic supply. Her mind might have spontaneously combusted. Her mind would be unstable even mounted on a tripod. Her modem lights are on but there's no carrier. Her objects are not fully oriented. Her phone doesn't quite reach her desk. Her random access is the same as her sequential access. Her sewing machine's been out of thread for some time now. Her ski lift doesn't go to the top of the hill. Her stack has been corrupted. Her synapses are about that far apart. Her system file has zero bytes. Her tires are a little low. Her wipers don't touch the glass. Her word length is zero bits. Hid behind the door when they passed out brains. High relative humidity... He's lost in a fog. His. sig is long, boring, and stupid, but more...