Percentage Jokes

1. Coca-cola was originally green.
2. Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the US Treasury.
3. Smartest dogs: 1) border collie; 2)poodle; 3)golden retriever.
4. Dumbest dog: Afghan
5. Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.
6. Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.
7. Chances that an American lives within 50 miles of where they grew up: 1 in 2
8. Amount American Airlines saved in '87 by taking out 1 olive from each salad served in first class: $40,000
9. City with the most Rolls Royce's per capita: Hong Kong
10. State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
11. Chances of a white Christmas in New York: 1 in 4
12. Portion of US annual rainfall that falls in April: 1/12
13. Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
14. Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
15. Estimated % of American adults who go on diet each year: 44%
16. Barbie's measurements if she more...

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a
man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no
thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of
thumb"
Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented.
It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and
thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime
time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the
U.S.Treasury.
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can
hear better.
Coca-Cola was originally green.
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
The State with the highest percentage of people who
walk to work: Alaska
The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now
get this...)
The percentage of North America that is wilderness:
38%
The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of
eleven: $6,400
The more...

1. Coca-cola was originally green.
2. Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the US Treasury.
3. Smartest dogs: 1) border collie; 2)poodle; 3)golden retriever.
4. Dumbest dog: Afghan
5. Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.
6. Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.
7. Chances that an American lives within 50 miles of where they grew up: 1 in 2
8. Amount American Airlines saved in '87 by taking out 1 olive from each salad served in first class: $40,000
9. City with the most Rolls Royce's per capita: Hong Kong
10. State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
11. Chances of a white Christmas in New York: 1 in 4
12. Portion of US annual rainfall that falls in April: 1/12
13. Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
14. Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
15. Estimated % of American adults who go on diet each year: 44%
16. Barbie's measurements if she more...

Picard: "Data... I understand that you have installed the latest version of Windows 95 into your positronic brain. Was this wise to do?"Data: "I am functioning within normal parameters."Picard: "Fine... Please calculate the success percentage of our latest mission."Data: "Yes, sir."(5 minutes later)Picard: "Mister Data... I asked you for that percentage."Data: "I am performing the task you have ordered, sir."Picard: "Well then... what's taking so long?"Data: "I no longer function at the speed levels I used to, sir. However, I am much cheaper to upgrade."Picard: "Are you saying that you sacrificed what you had before to change to this new system? That's MAD! Why did you do this?"Data: "The sales-people at Microsoft were very convincing, sir."Picard: "I hope that you at least have a backup!!"Data: "Yes, sir. Is that really necessary, sir?"Picard: "Well, of course more...

The number of floppies it will ship on.
The percentage of people who will have to upgrade their hardware.
The number of megabytes of hard disk space required.
The number of pages in the "EASY INSTALL" version of the manual.
The percentage of existing programs that won't run in the new version.
The number of minutes to install.
The number of calls to tech support before you can get it to run.
The number of people who will actually pay for the upgrade.
The number of MHz required for the operating system to run.
The year it was due to ship.
The 98 stands for average CPH: Crash Per Hour.
Bill Gates' age when it ships.
The number of days until Gates tries to sell you a newer OS.
The required number of megabytes of RAM to run at usable speed.
The percentage that will be complete on the shipping date.