Elementary Jokes

1. Coca-cola was originally green.
2. Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the US Treasury.
3. Smartest dogs: 1) border collie; 2)poodle; 3)golden retriever.
4. Dumbest dog: Afghan
5. Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.
6. Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.
7. Chances that an American lives within 50 miles of where they grew up: 1 in 2
8. Amount American Airlines saved in '87 by taking out 1 olive from each salad served in first class: $40,000
9. City with the most Rolls Royce's per capita: Hong Kong
10. State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
11. Chances of a white Christmas in New York: 1 in 4
12. Portion of US annual rainfall that falls in April: 1/12
13. Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
14. Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
15. Estimated % of American adults who go on diet each year: 44%
16. Barbie's measurements if she more...

One morning in elementary school, the students were going to a geography class. The teacher wanted to show the students where cities and states are. The teacher asks the class, "Does anyone know where Pittsburgh is?" Billy raises up his hand and says, "Yeah, Pennsylvania!". The teacher replies, "Very good, Billy!, now can anyone tell me were Detroit is?" Suzy raises her hand and says, "That`s in Michigan!" The teacher again says, "Very good." Trying to confuse the children, she now asks, "Where`s Kansas City?" Tommy raises his hand and says, "Oh Oh Pick me!!!, I know?" The teacher says, "OK, Tommy where is Kansas City?" "Last place."

1. Coca-cola was originally green.
2. Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the US Treasury.
3. Smartest dogs: 1) border collie; 2)poodle; 3)golden retriever.
4. Dumbest dog: Afghan
5. Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.
6. Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.
7. Chances that an American lives within 50 miles of where they grew up: 1 in 2
8. Amount American Airlines saved in '87 by taking out 1 olive from each salad served in first class: $40,000
9. City with the most Rolls Royce's per capita: Hong Kong
10. State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
11. Chances of a white Christmas in New York: 1 in 4
12. Portion of US annual rainfall that falls in April: 1/12
13. Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
14. Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
15. Estimated % of American adults who go on diet each year: 44%
16. Barbie's measurements if she more...

Diane began her job as an elementary school counselor and was very eager to help.
One day during recess she noticed a boy standing all alone on one side of a playing field, while the rest of the kids were enjoying a game of soccer at the other. She approached the boy and asked if he was alright. He told her that he was.
A short time later, Diane noticed that the boy was in the same spot, still by himself.
She approached him again and asked, "Would you like me to be your friend?" The boy hesitated for a moment, then said, "Sure," while looking at her suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Diane asked, "Why are you standing here all by yourself?"
"Because," the boy said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie."

US Attorney General John Ashcroft was visiting an elementary school. After fifteen minutes speaking he says:' I will now answer anyquestions you have.' Bobby stands up and says:' I have four questions': 1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore? 2. Why haven't you caught Osama bin Laden? 3. Why are you using the American Patriot Act to limit civil liberties? 4. Where are the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? Just then the bell goes and the kids rushed out to play. Upon returning, Mr Ashcroft said: "I am sorry we were interrupted. I will answer any questions you have.' A little girl called Julie stands upand says:' I have six questions': 1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore? 2. Why haven't you caught Osama bin Laden? 3. Why are you using the American Patriot Act to limit civil liberties? 4. Where are the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? 5. Why did the bell ring twenty minutes early? 6. Where is Bobby?