Custom Jokes

My old boss had spent some time writing software packages for this particular program. The software usually came as source code and was executed through an
interpreter. He started a small business selling his custom software.
One day at a scientific meeting, he noticed another company was showing the software
with' remarkably' similar functionality as his own. He wandered over to watch the demo and the longer he watched, the more familiar it looked.
Eventually, when the sales gerbil had gathered a good crowd, he asked in a rather loud voice, “Are you using my copyrighted copy for this? ”
“Of course not! ” the sales gerbil replied.
“So, what happens if you press [key combination]? ”
“Nothing. ”
“Well, humor me. Do it for me. ”
“Ok, sir, but I can assure it you does. . . ” and upon pressing the keys. . .
the large screen popped up my boss' copyright notice.
It was widely accepted as the biggest laugh of the more...

Now look at them yo-yos, that's the way you do it
You write the code that runs the WebTV
That ain't working, that's the way you do it
Get yer home page for nothin' and your hits for free.
Now that ain't workin', that's the way you do it
Lemme tell ya, them guys can code
Maybe get some backing' fore they even have a product
Maybe in a month they'll IPO.
We got to install Netscape Web Servers
Custom config delivery
We got to install all of these browsers
They got to all speak HTTP.
See that little doofus with the glasses and the cowlick?
Yeah buddy, that's his own code
That little doofus got a billion options
That little doofus he just IPO'd
We got to install Netscape Web Servers
Custom config delivery
We got to install all of this fiber
We gonna need a big ol' T3
I shoulda learned to code in Java
I shoulda learned some CGI
Look at that web page, they got it dancing right across more...

The new bahu demurely told her mother-inJaw, "Ma! I want to know about the customs here." The mother-in-law, pleased, said, "Yes. Yes. Go ahead!" "How many months after marriage are babies delivered here?" the bahu enquired. "Why, after nine months," told the mother-in-law, struck by her bahu's innocence. "But", declared the bahu, "in my father's place, they do it after six months, and for the first time I shall follow their custom."

Two Indians and a redneck were stolling through the woods, when suddenly one of the Indians ran up a hill to the opening of a small cave. "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" he called into the cave, and then listened very closely until he heard an answering, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" He quickly tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.
Puzzled, the redneck asked the other Indian what that was all about, was the other Indian crazy or what?
"No," said the Indian. "It is our custom during mating season. When Indian men see cave, they holler, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there is a girl in there waiting to mate."
Just then, they spotted another cave. The Indian ran up to the mouth of the cave, stopped, and hollered, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!". Immediately, there was an answering "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" from deep within the cave. He quickly tore off his clothes and ran into more...

WOMEN WALK 5 PACES BEHIND THEIR HUSBANDS

Barbara Walters of Television's 20/20 did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afganistan, several years before the Afgan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked 5 paces behind their husbands. She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. From Ms Walter's vantage point, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to walk even further back behind their husbands and are happy to maintain the old custom.
Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you now seem happy with the old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?
The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation, said, "Land mines."