Cut Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man goes to his doctor and complains that his penis is developing a bend in the middle. So the doctor ran a series of tests, and had the man return to his office to report the results. "Have you been in the Far East recently, within the last year or so?" "Why, yes," replied the man. "And did you have sex while over there?" The man looked worried. "Well, yes, once or twice." The doctor's face got a grave expression on it. "That's what I was afraid of. You have a new disease that's just starting to spread in this country. It's called' Hong Kong Dong.'" The man gulped. "What do you do for it? Is there a cure?" "Well, sort of. You see, there is no way to cure the disease, but you must have an operation." "An operation? What kind of operation?" "We cut off your penis." "Wow! Do you mind if I get a second opinion?" The doctor replied, "Of course not. In something of such a serious more...

A group of guys and one girl are sitting together at a ball game.
During the game the guys notice that the girl knows just as much
about the game as they do, and they're really impressed.
After the game they ask her "how is it that you know so much about
baseball?"
She says, "Well, I used to be a guy and got a sex change."
The guys are amazed, but very curious about the process. "What was
the most painful part of the process? Was it when they cut off your
penis?"
"That was very painful, but was not the most painful part."
"Was it when they cut off your balls?"
"That was very painful, but was not the most painful part."
"What was the most painful part?"
"The part that hurt the most was when they...
cut my salary in half!"

The girl sitting daintily on the bar stool was luscious, shapely and tempting. Naturally, she aroused the interest of the playboy at the other end of the bar. He smiled at her. Then he winked. When this failed, he tried out his best leer. Just then the bartender-two hundred pounds of muscle with a hairy chest-leaned over the bar and said, "Look, Buster: that there's my wife. So cut the funny business, understand?"
Replied the flustered playboy: "Funny business? I don't know what you're talking about. I just dropped in for a cool drink. Give me a piece of beer."

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Interviewer: What is your birth date?
Udurawana: 13th October
Interviewer: Which year?
Udurawana: EVERY YEAR
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Manager asked Udurawana at an interview Can you spell
a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Udurawana replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O- X.

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After returning back from a foreign trip, Udurawana asked
his wife, Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Udurawana: In London a lady asked me "Are you a foreigner?"

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One tourist from U. S. A. asked Udurawana
"Any great man born in this village???"
Udurawana: no sir, only small Babies!!!
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In the university, lecturer asked to write a note on "Buddha Jayanthi" So more...

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss the use of the car.

His father took him to his study and said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your bible a little and get your hair cut and we'll talk about it."
After about a month the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss use of the car.

They again went to the father's study where his father said, "Son, I've been real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your bible diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut!"
The young man waited and minute and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know, Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, why even Jesus had long hair...."
To which his father replied...."Yes, and they WALKED everywhere they went!"

Two five year old boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says, "Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!".
"I've been circumcised.", the other replied.
"What's that mean?"
"It means they cut the skin off the end."
"How old were you when it was cut off?"
"My mom said I was two days old."
"Did it hurt?", the kid asked inquiringly.
"You bet it hurt, I didn't walk for a year!"

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father who was a minister, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your bible a little and get your hair cut and we'll talk about it." After about a month the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss use of the car. They again went to the father's study where his father said, "Son, I've been real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your bible diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut!"The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know, Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair...." To which his father replied... "Yes, you're right... and they also WALKED every where they went!"