Czech Jokes / Recent Jokes
What do you call a girl from Prague giving out free BJ's? A Stimulus Czech...
I heard this one from a dissident that our local Amnesty International
group got out:
Through the center of Czechoslovakia there a train speeding along. In one
compartment of the train there are four people. A beautiful vivacious young
woman, an old matronly woman, a Russian soldier, and a Czech dissident.
Suddenly the train goes through a tunnel.
It is completely dark.
Then is heard a loud kiss and an equally powerful slap.
When the train exits the tunnel, the Russian soldier is holding the side of his
face, and the Czech dissident is grinning his face off.
The old matronly woman thinks: "Now that's a fine young woman, the Russian
soldier tries to steal a kiss in the tunnel and the lady slaps him one!"
The young woman is thinking: "Now that's a strange Russian soldier, he'd
rather kiss that old hag than me."
The Russian soldier is thinking: "Now that's a smart Czech, he steals the kiss
and I get more...
Knock KnockWhos there! Czech! Czech who? Czech before you open the door!
A certain lawyer was quite wealthy and had a summer house in the country, to which he retreated for several weeks of the year. Each summer, the lawyer would invite a different friend of his (no, that's not the punch line) to spend a week or two up at this place, which happened to be in a
backwoods section of Maine.
On one particular occasion, he invited a Czechoslovakian friend to stay with him. The friend, eager to get a freebie off a lawyer, agreed. Well, they had a splendid time in the country - rising early and living in the great outdoors.
Early one morning, the lawyer and his Czechoslovakian companion went out to pick berries for their morning breakfast. As they went around the berry patch, gathering blueberries and raspberries in tremendous quantities, along came two huge Bears - a male and a female. Well, the lawyer, seeing the two bears, immediately dashed for cover. His friend, though, wasn't so lucky, and the male bear
reached him and swallowed him whole. more...
A lawyer had just rented a cabin up north and was planning to do some hunting. So he goes up and finds that he has a neighbor. The neighbor is from Czechoslovakia. They decide to go hunting together and become good friends. While they camped out during the night 2 bears, a male and a female, attacked them. The lawyer just managed to get away. He stole a glance back and saw his Czechoslovakian friend get eaten whole by the male bear.
The lawyer runs to the police and tells them to come and hurry and bring some tranquilizer guns. They run up into the woods where their camp was and they stumble across the 2 bears sleeping.
The police say, "Which bear ate your friend?"
The lawyer says, "The male bear. That one!" And points to the one on the right.
The police immediately shoot the female bear and the male bear wakes up and runs off unharmed.
The lawyer screams, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I SAID HE WAS IN THE MALE BEAR!"
The police calmly more...
Knock Knock
Who's there!
Czech!
Czech who?
Czech before you open the door!
A Russian scientist and a Czechoslovakian scientist had spent their lives studying the grizzly bear. Each year they petitioned their respective governments to allow them to go to Yellowstone to study the bears. Finally their request was granted, and they immediately flew to NY and onward west to Yellowstone.
They reported to the ranger station and were told that it was the
grizzly mating season and it was too dangerous to go out and study the animals. They pleaded that this was their only chance and finally the ranger relented. The Russian and the Czech were given portable phones and told to report in every day. For several days they called in, and then nothing was heard from the two scientists. The rangers mounted a search party and found the camp completely ravaged with no sign of the missing men.
They followed the trail of a male and a female bear. They found the
female and decided they must kill the animal to find out if she had
eaten the scientist because more...