Dad Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers.
The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That`s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

"Dad, why do you write so slow?" asked Dennis. "I have to," replied his father. "I'm a slow reader."

An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.

"Dear Bubba, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.

- Love, Dad"

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

"Dear Dad,

For HEAVEN'S SAKE, Dad, don't dig up the garden! That's where I buried the GUNS!

- Love, Bubba"

At 4 A. M. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any guns. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another letter more...

*** Young son: Is it true Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa, a
man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in
most countries son.
*** Then there was a man who said "I never knew what real happiness was
until I got married; and then it was too late.
*** A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and
the wife takes.
*** When a newly married man looks happy we know why. But when a
ten-year married man looks happy we wonder why
*** After a quarrel a wife said to her husband, "You know I was a fool
when I married you" And the husband replied "Yes dear, but I was in
love with you"
*** It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still
ends up with the same boss
*** A man inserted an `ad' in the classifieds "Wife wanted". Next day he
receives a hundred letters. They all said the same thing " you can more...

A four-year-old boy and his father went to the beach. There was a dead seagull lying on the sand. The boy asked his father,' 'Dad, what happened to the birdie?''
His dad told him,' 'Son, the bird died and went to heaven.''
Then the boy asked,' 'Did God throw him back down?''

My dad is so old, when he was at school, history was called current events.

While playing around the house one day, a little black boy came across a can of white paint that his dad had been using. He gets an idea to paint his little hands and face and pretend to be a little white boy for a while.
He's so excited about this, he just has to go show and tell someone. So he runs into the kitchen and says,"Look Mama! I's a little white boy!"
She screams at him and tells him if he doesn't wash that white paint off, he will be grounded for a whole month and won't get any supper!
So now the little boy is almost in tears but decides to try' showing off' one more time.
He runs upstairs to his dad's room and proudly yells "Look Dad, I'm a little white boy now!"
His dad screams back,"You're black, you little son-of-abitch, and don't you ever forget it! Now, wash that white paint off, or I'm gonna spank you your ass!"
The little boy thinks for a second and says "You know, Dad, I've only been white for a more...