Dark Jokes / Recent Jokes

There's this man who's taking a walk around the red light district
until he passes a whorehouse with a blinking sign saying: "The
Hooker With Three Breasts...". The man get's just a little
interested and thinks "well... that could be a once in a lifetime
experience". So he goes in and walks up to the man behind the
counter. "I'd like to see the hooker with the three breasts" he
says.
"Are you sure you can afford that... It'll cost you a thousand
dollars" the pimp replies. But, the man is too exited, pull's his
wallet and pays him the money. So, he's taken up three stairs to a
little room in the back of the house and when he opens the room...
there she is. The room is dark but as he comes closer he sees it...
three breasts! And so the man absolutely has the night of his life.
The next day the man walks past that same whorehouse and thinking of
the night before and the time he had, he goes in more...

There's this man who's taking a walk around the red light districtuntil he passes a whorehouse with a blinking sign saying: "TheHooker With Three Breasts...". The man get's just a littleinterested and thinks "well... that could be a once in a lifetimeexperience". So he goes in and walks up to the man behind thecounter. "I'd like to see the hooker with the three breasts" hesays."Are you sure you can afford that... It'll cost you a thousanddollars" the pimp replies. But, the man is too exited, pull's hiswallet and pays him the money. So, he's taken up three stairs to alittle room in the back of the house and when he opens the room...there she is. The room is dark but as he comes closer he sees it...three breasts! And so the man absolutely has the night of his life.The next day the man walks past that same whorehouse and thinking ofthe night before and the time he had, he goes in and pays the pimpanother thousand dollars. Again, he goes up three more...

In a dark, narrow alley, a function and a differential operator meet:
"Get out of my way - or I'll differentiate you till you're zero!"
"Try it - I'm ex..."

A little boy and a pedophile are walking in the deep, dark, woods. The little boy says,
"Mister, I'm scared! These woods are really creepy."
The pedophile replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back all by myself."

One night a blonde was driveing in her car and saw a stranger on the road. She stoped and asked if she could help. The dark stranger replied to her "Yes you can get out of your car and stand in the box I have drawn on the road and dont move from it." so she did. He told her that if she moved there would be dier consequinces. So he turned from her. All of a sudden she started laughing. He turned to her quickly. Then knocked out her windows and replied "I told you so." then turned agian. Not one minute after he turned she was laughing agian. So he riped out the seat cloth and replied "I told you so" then turned agian. all of a sudden she begain to laugh agian. he quickly turned to her then blew up her car and replied "I told you so" then turned once more. she then laughed agian. He turned to her frustratedly and asked "Why are you laughing, I just blew up your car?" then she said "I steped out of the box while you wasnt looking.

Recently, a distraught wife went to the local police station, along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description of the missing man.The wife said, "He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5-foot 8-inches, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children."The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"

WARNING - may be offensive to Los Angelenos, Tiny Tim, Dr. Jack Kevorkian, OJ Simpson and women who marry serial killers on death row (sounds like a topic for a talk show...). Includes American politics.
In last weeks debate, Bob Dole accused Bill Clinton of not sticking to his platform. Well, at least he didn't fall off it...
At the end of the debate, Dole closed by inviting young people to check out his Web site. This could be the most tragic attempt at looking hip since William Shatner recorded "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds".
In the polls, both Dole and Clinton scored points as agents of change. Right. Each of them motivated millions of Americans to change the channel.
When the stock market hit a record high, Bill Clinton took full credit. When poverty fell to a new low, Clinton took full credit. When unmarried pregnancies declined, well... they dragged him off the stage just in time...
In a television ad featuring Elizabeth Dole, Mrs. Dole says her more...