Darling Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once upon a time, there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch.The curse prevented the prince from speaking or writing but for only one word each year.However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, the following year he was allowed to speak two words.One day, he met a beautiful princess and fell madly in love with her.With the greatest difficulty, he refrained from speaking for 2 whole years so that he could look at her and say, "My darling." But at the end of these 2
years, he wished to tell her that he loved her. So he waited 3 more years without speaking, bringing the total number of silent years to 5.At the end of these 5 years, he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So he waited another 4 years without speaking.Finally, as the 9th year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds. Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden, more...

A man and his wife were at the breakfast table when he suddenly remembered that it was their 50th Anniversary.
"Guess what, darling," he said, "Fifty years ago today you and I were wed."
"And we ate our first honeymoon breakfast at this very table," she said.
"We were naked as jaybirds, remember?" he blushed. "Oh yes," she giggled, 'Why don't we take off our clothes right now?" "All right."
They stripped to the buff and stared at one another across the table.
"Oooh, darling," she said, "My nipples are as hot for you as they were fifty years ago."
"No wonder," he said, "One's in your coffee and the other's in your oatmeal!"

A man and his wife were at the breakfast table when he suddenly remembered that it was their 50th Anniversary."Guess what, darling," he said, "Fifty years ago today you and I were wed.""And we ate our first honeymoon breakfast at this very table," she said."We were naked as jaybirds, remember?" he blushed. "Oh yes," she giggled, 'Why don't we take off our clothes right now?" "All right."They stripped to the buff and stared at one another across the table."Oooh, darling," she said, "My nipples are as hot for you as they were fifty years ago.""No wonder," he said, "One's in your coffee and the other's in your oatmeal!"

Dear Darling Son (and That Person You Married),
Merry Christmas to you, and please don't worry. I'm just fine considering I can't breathe or eat. The important thing is that you have a nice holiday, thousands of miles away from your ailing mother. I've sent along my last ten dollars in this card, which I hope you'll spend on my grandchildren. God knows their mother never buys them anything nice. They look so thin in their pictures, poor babies.
Thank you so much for the Christmas flowers, dear boy. I put them in the freezer so they'll stay fresh for my grave. Which reminds me -- we buried Grandma last week. I know she died years ago, but I got to yearning for a good funeral so Aunt Viola and I dug her up and had the services all over again. I would have invited you, but I know that woman you live with would have never let you come.
Well son, it's time for me to crawl off to bed now. I lost my cane beating off muggers last week, but don't you worry about me. I'm also more...

Dear Darling Son and That Person You Married,

Merry Christmas to you, and please don't worry. I'm just fine considering I
can't breathe or eat. The important thing is that you have a nice holiday,
thousands of miles away from your ailing mother. I've sent along my last ten
dollars in this card, which I hope you'll spend on my grandchildren. God knows
their mother never buys them anything nice. They look so thin in their pictures,
poor babies.

Thank you so much for the Christmas flowers, dear boy. I put them in the freezer
so they'll stay fresh for my grave. Which reminds me -- we buried Grandma last
week. I know she died years ago, but I got to yearning for a good funeral so
Aunt Viola and I dug her up and had the services all over again. I would have
invited you, but I know that woman you live with would have never let you come.
I bet she's never even watched that videotape of my hemorrhoid surgery, has more...

The other day Prem was having his usual morning walk along the Galle Face green. When he is walking
near the old parliamentary bulding he heard a voice,
"Oh.. i, Premadasa, come here man"
Bit surprized, and at the same time a bit angry he looked around to see who this guy dared to address
the Prime Minister (he was the PM then) by name. Only JR and Hemavo did call him by name. He saw
nobody, because it's still very early in the morning and Galle Face green is almost empty of people. So,
he started his walk again and only after few steps he heard the same voice, loder this time,
"Oh.. i, Premadasa, don't you hear me. Come here man."
Puzzled, he looked around and stood agaped when he saw that it was the statue of D. S. calling him.
"Premadasa, you should bring me a horse tomorrow, it's a long time since I had a horse ride."
"Eh. Yeh.. Yes, sir. Eh. I d.. d.. definitely will." stammered Prem and was more...

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy. "Bobby," the new guy replied. The manager scowled, "Look, I don`t know what kind of a mamby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don`t call anyone by their first name. "It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that`s all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?" The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is Bobby Darling." "Okay, Bobby, the next thing I want to tell you is..."