Dating Jokes / Recent Jokes
You walk into a room and notice that a picture is hanging crooked. You...
Straighten it. Ignore it. Buy a CAD system and spend the next six months designing a solar- powered, self-adjusting picture frame while often stating aloud your belief that the inventor of the nail was a total moron.
The correct answer is "3" but partial credit can be given to anybody who writes "It depends" in the margin of the test or simply blames the whole stupid thing on "Marketing."
SOCIAL SKILLS
Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social interaction. "Normal" people expect to accomplish several unrealistic things from social interaction: Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation Important social contacts A feeling of connectedness with other humans In contrast to "normal" people, engineers have rational objectives for social interactions: Get it over with as soon as possible Avoid getting invited to something more...
I am having a very good day today, folks. My girlfriend called me about three hours ago to tell me that the tests came back negative.
Negative for what? Doesn't really matter.
I think any man will agree - if any woman calls you and tells you that tests came back negative? That's just a good day, right there...
A Los Angeles company is producing the reality TV game show "Who Wants to Marry a U.S. Citizen," which will attempt to bring together legal citizens and immigrants with temporary visas.
Each loser will receive a complimentary head start.
When we were dating, my husband used to always tell me those three magic words, "I love you". Now that we are married, those three magic words have become, "What's for dinner?" When we were dating, my husband would gently rub me with hot oil while he affectionately called me lovely nicknames. Now that we are married, he gently rubs his car with hot wax, which now has its own pet nickname. When we were dating, my husband would always love to watch me undress. Now that we are married, he loves to watch championship wrestling. When we were dating, my husband read poetry to me as he caressed me in his arms late into the night. Now that we are married, he quotes me sports statistics and stock prices during breakfast. When we were dating, my husband would passionately motivate and urge me on in whatever I did, whether it was at my job or during sex. Now that we are married, the only thing he passionately urges on is his favorite football team. When we were dating, my more...
It's hard dating white guys because they're really into role playing. The last white guy I dated wanted to be the Lone Ranger and wanted me to be Tonto. That's cool, I didn't have a problem with it except I don't think the Lone Ranger liked it when Tonto tried to fist him.
I guess he didn't like the way I played cowboys and Indians.
A man in Scotland was arrested (and officially labeled a sex offender) after being caught simulating sexual intercourse against the pavement of a city street.
The judge denied any future visits with paved surfaces, and suggested that the man limit his relationships to forests, grassy fields, and the occasional garden plot.
Carol had been dating one man steadily for almost a year, and her mother was growing concerned.
"Exactly what are his intentions?" she demanded.
"Well, Mom, I'm really not sure," Carol said. "He's been keepii me pretty much in the dark."