Dating Jokes / Recent Jokes

Have you ever noticed that most of the women whose profiles stress their need for honesty in a relationship are the same women who post pictures of what they used to look like...years ago...dress sizes ago...hair colors ago...before they had the surgery. I had a date last week with a girl that looked like Cameron Diaz in her profile photos...in person she looked like a 500 pound version of Alice Cooper with boobs. She looked smokin hot on the net...then she asked me what I thought when I met her in person. I said, " when did you stop smokin'."

When Cleo's parents threatened to forbid her to see her boyfriend unless she told them why he'd been there so late the night before, she finally began to talk.
"Well," she said, "I took him into the loving room, and-"
"That's' living,' dear," her mother interrupted.
Said the happy girl, "You're telling me!"

One thing that can be said in favor of going steady is that it gets the youngsters home and in bed at an early hour.

some call it dating...some call it hooking up...I call it "messin with sasquatch."..

The girl who will go to a man's apartment to see his etchings may not know anything about art, but she knows what she likes.

Anxious to be on time for his date, Carl nevertheless dropped into a drugstore to make a hasty purchase. The druggist gave him a knowing smile, so Carl gave him a run-down on the expectations he had for the evening.
"I met this girl at a party last week," he explained. "A real hot number. Her folks are going to the opera tonight and it will be just the two of us with the whole apartment to ourselves." Carl was greeted with a warm hug at the door by Nancy, his date. They settled on the couch and turned on the TV. Her folks would be leaving in a few minutes, she explained. Her father wasn't home from work yet and as soon as he arrived, the parents would be departing for dinner and the opera.
Nancy's father arrived soon after and she introduced both parents to Carl.
"Say, why don't Nancy and I join you this evening?" Carl suggested.
"Oh, you children don't want to be spending your evening with us old folks," said Nancy's more...

Mist circled sluggishly in the air of the steam room as George and Charlie attempted to melt from their bodies the excesses of the night before.
"How was youT date last night?" George asked.
"Awful," Charlie responded. "Beautiful, but awful. I was disgusted. The minute we got to her apartment, the phone started ringing-every big operator in town wanted a date with her. We didn't have a moment's peace. Man, was I fed up!"
"Come on, Charlie," George twitted his friend, "don't you expect a beautiful girl to have her number in the phone book?"
"Yeah," growled Charlie, "but not in the Yellow Pages."